My very un-prestigious car of the year awards show!!!
My motoring favourites from what oddly enough, has probably been the best year of my life.
Yes there may be two months left before the end of the year, but we should be fine cuz I doubt much will happen between now and then (sorry future us if I jynxed it).
This is the long anticipated Mr Muppet Car Award Show, and I am obviously your host, General Muppet. Basically I just want an excuse to make some people angry, without setting off the PC Brigade. So there we are, sit back (but sit straight cuz it's better for your back) and try your very best to enjoy...........or you can just leave I suppose, it's up to you. Let us begin.
The vroom vroom award:
A rather special award for the best speeeedy car of the year. Basically a sports car award. The nominations are:
Alpine A110, BMW Z4, Mazda MX-5, Kia Stinger, Jaguar F-Type
Yes. All very amazing cars. But there can only be one winner, which of course is.....:
THE ALPINE A110!
Hold up what? Oh yeah that's right the Alpine's actually better than the Stinger......Oh well moving on.
The big but at the same time kind of small for a big car car award:
Crossovers! You either hate them or hate them. I however, really like them if they are done right so here is an award I'm happy to present. Ze nominations:
Nissan Juke (no I'm not kidding), Citroen C3 Aircross, Renault Captur, Volvo XC40, Peugeot 2008
So then, who will win this very irrelevant award:
THE CITROEN C3 SOMETHING OR OTHER:
The Ugly Award:
Even in 2020, the earth is littered by some very ugly cars. Now is a great opportunity to praise and honour those responsibe for such blindingly hideous things. The nominations:
Fiat 500X, Hyundai Kona, Chevrolet Trax, Chevrolet Spark, Chevrolet Equinox, Chevrolet Sonic, Chevrolet Malibu
Some very justifiable choices there, but sadly there can only be one winner, and that is:
CHEVROLET EVERYTHING THAT WAS NOMINATED:
They are all utterly distasteful! Well done Chevy!
The Overrated Car that isn't a Ferrari Award:
So, can anyone steal the Prancing Horse's limelight for being so overrated by the Ferrari fanboys? Let's find out with our nominations:
Nissan GTR, Ford Mustang, Bugatti Chiron, Mercedes AMG GT, Ford Fiesta, Ford Focus, the entire Audi range
Ahh yes the brats. But who will take the biscuit. Well, obviously......
THE NISSAN GTR:
Hooray! It's a lazy looking sports/super car thingy made by boring old Nissan with plastic bits stuck all over it. And it looks like it hit a bollard. I frankly have more time for the new Qashqai, which isn't terribly bad believe it or not, but that's for another day.
But wait, that's not the real winner of the Overrated Car that isn't a Ferrari Award after all? And what's that, the real winner is actually......
THE FERRARI 488:
Well what can I say folks, but I wasn't expecting this dramatic turn of events. Turns out Ferrari are so overrated, they even won the award they weren't nominated for! That's live TV for ya🤷🏻♂️.
The Unoriginal Losers Of The Year Award:
History has seen mankind bully the hell out of the 'copy and paste' button. But who did it best this year. Here are the nominations:
Suzuki, Ford, Jaguar, Aston Martin, McLaren, Audi
Could it be? An award you actually can't predict the result of. Probably not given that the winner is shown right below this but nevermind. The winner, which you are probably already aware of, is...................:
A very well deserved win for Audi there. Every single one of their saloons is just an A3 but longer, or simply an A3. Outside of dimensions, they are all just good cars. Then there's the SUV range, which is literally the same story. Acing the competition there Audi, well done indeed!
And so readers, I mean avid viewers, my very well-ran award show of 2020 must sadly come to an end, because I can only make so much content. You guys just aren't worth six awards, sorry. If I'm at one million followers by this time next year, you can have your extra award then, how does that sound? Good? Good. I hope you enjoyed, this should make for plenty of mentions in my apology post series should it ever mysteriously return (hint hint).
Thanks for reading, please like the post, I didnt mean to insult you about three lines back I promise.
Anyway yeah toodles and that.