2y ago
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Nissan main dealers: a whimsical review.

Pros: friendly, polite, great customer service, the video attached etc.
Cons: the cost.

So, I took my 350Z to a Nissan dealership in Herts for some TLC. Ordinarily I don't do this, I usually take my cars to a performance specialist and get master mechanic work for a fraction of the cost, like most sane petrolheads do. However, this little beauty came with all the bells, whistles and stamps. All Nissan service history stamps. All 12 of them, don't you know. Who am I to break tradition, right? Therefore, I deduced I should at least humour Nissan into trying to show me why we drop the d and add an s when referring to dealers.

I would say what a waste of time that was, but between the enthusiasm for my business, unlimited coffee, funky decor and a Puke courtesy car, I quite enjoyed my experience. But, and it's a big but, and I cannot lie, the bill was ferocious. I nearly had an aneurism when I heard the price. Two bulbs and an inspection cost me 175 quid, which is atrocious by anyone's standards, but they did give the car a nice cheese grating of a wash for me, so I suppose I should be grateful.

It doesn't end there though. That's not what almost sent me into a miserly seizure. You see, I took the car in for tracking, brake greasing and lower arm bushes, but they couldn't find the time to complete all that in the space of over 8 hours, so they asked me to approve the work and schedule it in for another day. Fine, how much will that be, friend? 1600 of your pounds, my good sir. Nope. Not today, Jose. You're great and all and I had a nice time, but... err, it's not you, it's me... I, umm, yeah. No. Not for bushings, tracking and some brake grease, my guy, not even for you and all that you've done for me today. I mean, the coffee machine was great, the Puke's keyless entry was a hell of a convenience and the service came with a smile and all, but damn it all, Jose, I just don't have enough lube with me to do this with you today!

With that passionate rejection out of the way, I bid Jose adieu, wished Beryl well and was on my merry way to Japex for a second opinion and flashbacks of a previous life, in which instant coffee was served limitlessly.

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