No thanks Mr. Bennetts, I do not want to power my car with baby animals.

The world consumes 94 million barrels of oil per day. The leading offender is predictably the United States, consuming nearly double that of it's nearest rival, China. The UK comes in at number 18, which is surprising, given how many hours are spent in traffic sitting behind cyclists.

New Zealand's consumption doesn't exactly strike one as problematic. They come in 66th place, even behind Cuba, who because of a history of sanctions, has adapted many of its cars to run on vegetable oil. New Zealand does beat some countries, however: Botswana, Swaziland, The Falkland Islands....and the country nipping at its heels is Turkmenistan - yes, apparently that's a place.

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It's no secret that we need to effect some change in the world, for environmental reasons. But electric cars are useless, hydrogen cars are a while off and for anyone living outside Paris, public transport is a joke. You'd think that sooner or later, someone would create a bi-product from petroleum production that could fuel vehicles. This would effectively double the productivity of each barrel of crude oil. Someone like Rudolph Diesel might have some good ideas. We could even name this new fuel after him... something like... 'Rudolph'.

Apparently running our cars on Rudolph fuel took the fancy of Z CEO Michael Bennetts, who, unable to find sufficient Rudolphs, decided that we should instead grind up other baby animals and dump them into our fuel tanks.

Mr Bennetts has, to be fair, done a staggeringly superb job of managing the company. When Shell exited New Zealand fuel distribution in 2010, the locals had to create their own company, and Z was born. It was brilliant - fortunately - being that New Zealand's entire pension fund was gambled upon its success. It was also the first company in many years where you could tell its employees had been forced to appear joyous at your patronage, the food was delicious, and a smiling concierge was present to pump your gas for you. Despite the now less amicable staff, I have been a loyal and proud customer since day one.

Recently, however, Z decided that 66th place was not acceptable, and that New Zealand would be switching to a new 'biofuel diesel'. As the owner of a 1997 Japanese 4WD (due to import restrictions 4WDs here retain their value like albinos in Africa for all the wrong reasons), I and many others shuddered in fear. But worse than being threatened with a Cuban-style fuel system, we were told that this devil diesel would be produced with 'slaughterhouse byproducts'...and that we could expect a price hike for the privilege.

Animals and cars go together nicely...like this.

Animals and cars go together nicely...like this.

As a vegetarian, the thought of pumping Bambi into my car turns my stomach. Some may argue that because the animals are killed anyway, it is simply reducing waste, but by this logic, why can't we just use human corpse by-products? Many people die every day; surely there is no difference? Actually I think this has already been trialled somewhere - not by a Rudolph but by an Adolf. It didn't end well.

Tallow is a product that is in use in some places overseas, but it's one that needs to go. It's not sustainable, it's not eco-friendly, and it's not pleasant. I will continue to buy food and drinks from Z, though as for diesel fuel - thanks but no thanks Mr. Bennetts, that's not the kind of horsepower I'm after.

#diesel #eco #biofuel #horsepower #environment #green