Not again

National Treasure, Mr Clackson (43) is said to be deeply sorry for an incident that happened in a restaurant in Dorking in south Hamptonshire, Northumberland.

Eye witnesses told us they saw Mr Greyson (942) walk into the restaurant, sit down, order some food and then proceed to do something quiet disgraceful.

He just didn't stop

James Shortsighted-Spectacles (04)

The other patrons in the restaurant said they had never witness such a disgraceful scene and couldn't believe the things they witnessed. Eric Spider-Trumpet (45.52) told us, "You see him on TV and you think, cocky little Sh******************t and then this happens right in front of your eye's. I'll never watch what ever program he's on again. Well, not for a week or two anyway. I'm that discussed"

Mr Clayton (12) seen here outside the restaurant in question

The events as we know them.

At 7.47 he sat down

7.53 he ordered some food

8.03 the food arrived

8.25 he'd finished

8.31 The incident

8.36 Mr Jenkinson (63) leaves the restaurant

The incident as it is to be called from now on may offend some people as it is graphic in nature, we are telling it as it happened.

A fan went up to Mr Stephenson (50) and asked for a selfie, he'd been waiting from another table for Mr Johnson (85) to finish his meal. Mr Chesterson (22) then uttered these words to the fan who we can't name because we didn't write it down, "Of course", the fan took the picture and chatted to Mr Henderson for a good few minutes. They then parted and both left.

Mr Jackson (37) was, what we can only describe as civilised, chatty and couldn't do enough to ease the tension. He didn't argue, he wasn't rude in any way and he was, some told us, a perfect gentleman.

What is going wrong with the world when a... what we can only describe as a TV star doesn't throw a fit, raise his voice and storm off whenever someone tries to talk to them in public or even make a scene. Its a disgrace. These people are supposed to be aloof, non talkative and highly obnoxious to the general public.

If you have a similar story to tell about so called TV stars, please write to:

5, This address doesn't exist, are you really writing this on an envelope, you know its all fake, Chipping Sodbury, Norfolk. NR007 1234. And mark it as personal and public.