You’re 150 Metres away, and unless you were told, that Merc over there isn’t actually a purebred.
Yeah sure, the shape looks very Mercedes, but that’s about it from your vantage point. You get closer as the mystery animal takes up more of your field of view (a side angle) so still the beast lays dormant to you.
No cause for alarm just yet, just another day, another Mercedes you can’t afford asking for your attention (let’s assume in this world your flying around poppin’ 3rd gear on your Fiesta ST, still great and maybe more fun, but an SLS is sitting in the Stretford End and your at the Etihad for reference)
You feel like David Attenborough as you self narrate in your head as this once seemingly easy find becomes ever more strange…
All Black, barring the brake callipers, which are a surprising but completely understandable gold, maybe it’s a Merc driver wanting to flaunt a little (happens all the time, let them have their gold and you get to keep your cynicism about how clean they’ll be in a weeks time.
You’re at the critical angle which reveals the first clue. Big ass “B” on the Wheel Hub...
In 3.5 Picoseconds your mind snaps into (and then out in just as fast) the tinfoil hat theory that this is a Bentley you found randomly and that it’s snuck out of the factory in Crewe, revealing a new 4-door GT car that the world has yet to be awarded with...just you know...and Adrian Hallmark maybe…
Of course not, foolish person.
This is about to be not a discovery, but a diagnosis.
THE CAR IS COVERED IN THE UNGODLY MYSTERIOUS B!!!!
A trip around the hood reveals two…
Go to the back and you’d think one B graces the presumptive back, little did you know a glance at the exhaust reveals a quad selection of B’s
Grand total: 11 B’s on the exterior, god knows what the inside holds.
Now the mad scientists of this smooth black missile have been revealed, in strikingly hard to see writing on the back left...
By now the research has been done via your phone and all of your attention put towards knowing every proverbial Nook and Cranny of this machine.
What a contraption. Hidden in plain sight, if you see it drive by you may not see a difference, but you’d hear it, and that’s the point
Welcome to the Brabus 800:
0-60 (2.9 sec)
Top speed: 196mph (limited)
Valve controlled sport exhaust
Carbon Fiber cowling surrounding the beastly engine providing 1000 nm of torque
Interior to make you feel special. Exterior to give you your daily dose of subtle lethality
The feeling like you can jump on any challenger on the road, blitz ‘em and repeat.
That’s the idea, and beautifully woven into a fresh Mercedes-AMG GT 63 S 4MATIC+
Now that’s a long name, so just drop the window dressing and call it what it is...what you want to say when the question pops (and you really linger for the inquiry)
Further leading your ego to go into very very exquisite detail regarding your Royal Black Premium Leather and those Monoblock Z’s (be sure to mention the “platinum edition” bit...it feels wholesome...arrogant but damn it’s a good feeling)
Snap back to reality, your adventures with this unicorn find come to an end when you look to your right…
There’s no way.
But indeed, it’s a hard yeahhhhh.
Smart Fortwo Cabriolet, and permanently etched into your mind (and the Grille)...
Big ass B
This isn’t a tuning company, it’s an infection.
And a lovely disease to be a part of.
How many B’s would you like on the outside of your Ford Fiesta ST???
Let me know in the comments.