- Mr Smugly aka the Jeremiah Clarkson

Hello illiterate plebeians and fellow pariahs, Jeremiah here, been away for a while. Had to get a proper job as I couldn’t stand the poverty wages motoring journalism pays. So I decided to head eastwards… towards the Square Mile where a nice plum investment bank job was awaiting me. Didn't have a clue as to what the job entailed but I was told I could make a fortune by simply rounding my vowels and chiseling my consonants, international clients are a sucker for the old-English accent, especially Trump voting billionaires what, what. Actually, I spent most of the time moving my bowels to be precise. The local curry house near the office has a too hot handle main dish. I can attest to afternoon luncheons being rather too hot to handle.

Making money in the Square Mile is so easy all one has to do is know the right fellow, take cocaine all day and pretend to offer a diverse and equal working environment. And then take more cocaine! Remarkable! Let’s just say I wouldn’t take a boat ride or go for a swim in the River Thames if I were you. If the rat urine doesn’t strike you down first then you’ll most probably end up getting high. And you won’t have to pay a penny. Remarkable!

Anyway I did the ying-yang-and-ballyhoo made a shed load of money and now I am working in charity again, or as it’s known within Square Mile circles, poverty. You’ll know it as motoring journalism. And I have to say The Daily Car Blog is at the bottom of the pile. A great place to be if you aspire to be a nobody or nothing at all. Remarkable!

In the UK at least, if you do want to make your name in the motoring journalism world then head on over to Autocar, the world’s oldest and most respected motoring magazine. They give you the latest car reviews and authoritative expert opinions. Autocar is the place to go for car enthusiasts. Every motoring journalist worth their poverty wages wants a slice of the Autocar action.

Autocar has deep connections within the motor industry. If Autocar flexes its editorial muscle car manufactures tremble with fear. And that’s the problem, no not the flexing of editorial muscle that’s a given for any publication whether it be the motoring industry or otherwise. The problem is, Autocar is getting too pompous for their own good and they don’t even realise it.

Having those deep connections that go back many decades has made Autocar become the Gollum of motoring journalism. Instead of being impartial stewards dispensing critical analysis they have become consumed by the power of the “ring”. For example, they are far too biased towards British motoring companies.

The generous positivity and coverage Autocar shows towards Lotus has never stopped the Hethel based company tip-toeing to the brink of bankruptcy on numerous occasions. It hasn’t increased sales of Aston Martin products. Nor has Autocar coverage particularly helped JLR. Why? Because of pomposity. Hoo-Hah!

They have the best writers and editors in the business, that much is undeniable. However, the “ring” of pomposity has overwhelmed them. Having access, an ear to the ground, being the first to be first has turned Autocar into the rear gunner for the motoring industry. And it’s all down to pure pomposity. Remarkable!

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