Pagani Anounces New SUV To Compete With Other Super SUV's
New Pagani SUV's
PAGANI HEADQUARTERS, ITALY- Yesterday, Pagani decided to shock the world by announcing they are developing an SUV, to be called the Spocchiosa. The super car company has decided to expand their production line and start making cars that rich soccer mom needs on a daily basis. Many executives at Pagani are pleased with this expansion and are looking forward to the new profits from the SUV's. They are excited to join the line of other super car companies that have produced SUV's pandering to this overly saturated market. According to Horacio Pagani, the car is specifically designed to be something that Victoria Beckam or Angelina Jolie might want to buy.
The specs of the Spocchiosa are absolutely amazing. 0-60 time comes just under three seconds to "Ensure you get the kids to practice on time, no matter how late you actually are." It is going to top out at 201 mph, demolishing the Urus's top speed of 190 mph. This according to Pagani will "Be so that the car can cut peasants off on the highway no matter what kind of car you drive." The luxurious interior is specifically made for the rich, posh mother. Pagani gave Bee reporters reports of a gluten free, vegan wood dashboard and dairy free, waterproof leather seats. The carbon ceramic brakes are soy free and "provide the extra bite in the stop when tailgating a pleb in a simple Volvo." The car will also produce 0 emissions, so they can tell everyone that they are saving the environment.
Bee reporters are pained to announce that the Spocchiosa will come on the line in 2019 right around the start of football season in Europe. Rich, snobbish moms, look for a new Spocchiosa in a Pagani dealership near you.
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Comments (16)
I hope Pagani himself reads this and his mind explodes
Good to know the carbon ceramic brakes are soy free, that’s a big selling point
It is. That way the rich moms know their spoiled kids will not be polluted by soy
Finally Pagani started care of Polar bears! LOL
I would quarrel with many of these claims.
Why? Are you secretly a rich soccer mom?
I am inside their heads, at times.
Did the vegan cows the leather was made from, produce Almond Milk?
More research is going into this as we speak