- The star car himself...

Paolo Pandamonium!

The story of a magnificent car...

42w ago
2.5K

A while ago, I was sat doing my English homework writing a fictional story when I thought to myself, I could make use of this. So I decided to share it onto DriveTribe, so grab a blanket and a cup of milk, it's story time...

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Tucked away, in a quaint village located in the North West of England, sat a tired and tatty Fiat Panda by the name of Paolo with the registration ‘WU07 YPR’. Paolo was owned by an old man by the name of Daniel, it was driven to the bone every square on the calendar until one day, Daniel passed away and the little car lay abandoned, bug-infested, watching every other shiny-hub capped car race by at full chat with owners gleaming.

Paolo the Panda was parked up for 11 years, until something magical happened. It was a stormy night in Cheshire, everybody was indoors, candles lit, singing songs of comfort. A bolt of lightning struck, and struck big on poor Paolo. A live spark made contact with Paolo’s engine causing a spark that would ignite his pistons. Paolo was left in gear when Daniel passed, so when the pistons ignited, the car burst into action, spluttering like a choking dog. The Fiat rolled down the alienated and stormy road, later to become a hero.

The boxy vehicle roamed the roads, somehow avoiding every obstacle. He circled the world repeatedly, boarding ferries by chance, plonking on more miles by the hour. Word was reached to the press who announced the headline, “Poverty Panda Patrols the Planet!”

Before nightfall, Paolo became a global hit, trending on Twitter, even Kylie Jenner bought a Panda to replace her G-Wagon hoping to become even more famous – it didn’t work of course, because it wasn’t Paolo, and she was Kylie Jenner. Paolo was a one of a kind, his metallic-grey paintwork shined bright, but most importantly, he had a character.

There were even stories about the 100hp car being heroic: a small baby was sat isolated in her pram along a train track in Russia, Paolo simply chugged on sweeping the baby off the railway line into safety. It was from that moment in Russia that the Panda became even more of an idol. Hot Wheels and other toy companies made scale models of the car, Chris Harris stopped eyeing up old BMWs and searched the market for his own Panda. Nobody ever thought such a slow, boring bit of old metal could become such a phenomenon, but Paolo did. He became the first car to be awarded with an OBE, he wasn’t even there to collect the award; he was too busy racing along the Nürburgring in first gear!

The wheels continued turning, and the life-like car continued saving people from danger. Paolo was rushing down a Californian highway when a tree branch obstructed the tarmac ahead. Not to worry though, because the fabulous Fiat rammed it aside creating a clear path for a school bus behind. Who said Herbie the Beetle was magical?

The adventures of Paolo the Panda continued through darkness and through light, through pandemics and riots. It didn’t show any signs of stopping. It broke down the doors of its original factory in Poland from 2007, drove through red lights, but no-one cared. People welcomed Paolo’s arrival, they believed he brought good luck, and he did. Society became a better place, everyone became fairer, he brought up the spirits of every citizen. People spent years mocking the Fiat Panda, but in truth, it was to become one of the most memorable cars of all time, one of automotive history’s greats.

He drove at around 20mph for many months until nobody saw him cruise by again. He saved lives, formed smiles that would last forever, but one thing that wouldn’t last forever, was his petrol supply. Paolo had run out of petrol. Nobody knows exactly where he is to date, but we do know that he is still out there today resting his dinky wheels. He proved that cars aren’t just polluting bits of metal, they are capsules of happiness, and were qualified for saving babies from railway lines. Scientists and investigators are searching for the tiny car to find out how exactly it managed all those miles without fail. Some say he was alive, but we will probably never know. Paolo the Panda OBE, heroic, heartfelt, but most importantly, an icon for generations to come.

The End.

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That's it then! Who else is feeling sleepy? The 'icon', Paolo, is sitting on my drive as I type this enjoying his fame. Who would like another story? Let me know in the comments or tweet me @danielcars05! Thank you for reading...

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Daniel Achterhuis is a 14-year-old automotive journalist for DriveTribe and presenter of 'The Piston Podcast'. Daniel has written for various newspapers, magazines, and was the youngest-accredited press at the 2019 Goodwood Festival of Speed. He aspires to become a full time automotive journalist in his later years.

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Comments (4)

  • Now this is the content I signed up for! Great post Daniel!

      9 months ago
  • I've got one, almost the same.. And they are a "grin-a-minute" "thrash them at 9/10th" and enjoy driving something that is just a warm shopping trolley and very flawed BUT you still want to do it time and time again

      9 months ago
    • They are very fun, but they manage to be practice at the same time. Good ish mpg, good legroom/height, good boot...

        9 months ago
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