Perfect coming home present...

The same wonderful partner who provided me with a treasure hunt for a hidden WWII Jeep in a barn on Valentine's Day has once again gone the extra mile to provide me with the perfect coming home present. After returning yesterday from a busy week away filming, I was greeted this morning with the news that Mindy had got up early and gone to all the bother of driving our Discovery down the fields and getting it stuck in a muddy ditch. Perfect.

This meant we could break out the tractor and hitch up the manliest of straps to pull the thing out. Well, we did so only after my Defender had struggled and strained like a terrier trying to tow a tanker truck full of concrete and completely failed to budge the three-tonne leviathan wedged on the muddy edge of a causeway between two stagnant ponds. In fact, I was surprised the Disco had got stuck at all; it was on winter tyres and the hill, whilst muddy, is hardly steep. And so, it seems, must Landrover be surprised, because getting to the towing hitch under the front bumper entails first removing a slab of plastic skirting that suggests the builders REALLY don't envisage you ever needing it.

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Needless to say I was happy as a pig in, well, as happy as a small brummie in a Landrover in the mud. The Disco is out now, the tractor is put back and I've got mud under my fingernails. I've just been over to the bike barn and it's an inch deep in leaked oil, the old 911 needs an MOT and my Vincent won't start. All is comfortably normal: I'm home.

Yup, it's just a school run truck but it's at least got mud in its tyres now and some heroic scratches down the side.

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