I've been looking to buy a used car recently, which means looking at a lot of used-car ads. It might just be me, but some of the phrases that regularly crop up in the descriptions fill me with deep suspicion. So here's a selection of the finest, and what I think they might really mean. Feel free to respond with your own.
1) 'Extensive history file'
'It's Rarely out of a workshop'
2) 'Would suit enthusiast'
'I can't work out what's wrong with it'
3) 'Ideal winter project'
'Don't book anything for the summer, either'
4) 'Ran when parked'
'Never ran again, so it's still there'
5) 'Barn find'
'Recently moved into a barn'
6) 'Selling for a friend'
'I don't wish to be associated with this pile of shite'
7) 'Intermittent electrical fault'
'When you get it home'
8) 'First to see will buy'
'…something else'
9) 'Good runner'
'Bad runner'
10) 'Sure to appreciate'
'So why am I selling it then?'
11) 'Rolling restoration'
'Requiring numerous unavailable parts to finish'
12) 'A very honest car'
'Bolloxed'
Photo credit: Getty Images
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Comments (126)
1) Low Miles!
New dash cluster installed with lower milage reading
16) One owner
After another
29) Clean
Now. Should have seen it yesterday
8) All Highway miles
Holy shit, mom, look at all those miles.
357) Clean Carfax
The collision hasn't been reported yet.
777) Strong Engine
I couldn't kill it, and believe me, I tried.
Remind me to never buy a car from you.
"ran when parked"
and as soon as I tried to start it, everybody else ran.
"This car will be great fun"
probably not for you - but everyone else will laugh
"Mechanics special"
Only the mechanic can keep it running
"offered exclusively on the internet"
If I want to keep my friends, I cannot sell it in the neighbourhood.