Range Rover Evoque
The Range Rover Evoque. Out of Range Rover's line, it's the compact and sporty looking one... Kinda like the Sport. And kinda like the Velar... Okay, I admit it, I've no idea the defining lines of all these Range Rover Compact SUV's they all look bloody the same to me and the only difference is the price ranges that I can tell. But the Evoque stands out from the rest of the Range Rover line up. Because it's awful.
Take the name badges off it, and it competes with the Toyota Rav4 and the Honda CR-V and maybe even the Kia Sportage or Hyundai Kona. And out of all of them, I'd rather have one of the Korean Twins. Between the Evoque and Swine Flu, I'd have to toss a coin.
The Evoque is just a pile of Garbage. It handles like a 14 White Girl at her first Dance... Awkward and ungainly. The transmission shifts like it has no idea what's going... The stability control thinks you are being completely wreckless if you drive over 25 MPH. And the ride quality is completely adequate, only if this was a Rav4. But it's not. It's a Range Rover. Which means it packs a full cargo hold of hubris and entitlement, of which the Evoque has earned none of. Like that 14 year old girl, it does look pretty, sitting there along the back wall. Best leave it parked there.
Normally I like to finish up a critical review with something to improve the thing. For the Evoque... Just look a the pretty flowers, Evoque. Just look at the pretty flowers.