Ranked: 11 sexiest Alfa Romeos of all time
Are Alfa Romeo the sexiest car brand of all time?
Before I get into this list, I just want to put a NSFW warning before you scroll down. There are some images here that many consider to be 100% pornography. I've had to make write this article in a booth so that no-one can see my screen. I made this for you guys with the risk of being fired for producing obscene content. I hope you appreciate it.
I've never had so much choice for a list before, but I've managed to whittle it down to a very special 11. If your favourite Alfa doesn't feature, please comment, preferably with a lovely image of it in the comments.
11) Alfa Romeo Spider Duetto
There are 10 sexier Alfas than this?! How many brands would have a car as stunning a this in at number 11?
10) Alfa Romeo Brera
I've often had some backlash whenever I wax lyrical at how beautiful the Brera is. I'm still not sure I can understand any viewpoint other than it is one of the prettiest cars made in the last decade. Fight me.
9) Alfa Romeo 156 GTA
The absolute king of the '00s saloon battle, the 156 GTA was harbouring the legendary 3.2-litre Busso which immediately makes it sexier than anything the rest of the world had to offer.
8) Alfa Romeo 4C
Another slightly controversial choice as the 4C has proved to be the Marmite of the car world. With those weird bug headlights, it belongs nowhere near this list, but with normal headlights it is more than worthy. Just look at that rear.
7) Alfa Romeo GTV V6
A lot of you would be expecting the classic GTV that Clarkson has just purchased. The Alfetta GTV6 is a stunning car, but the modern GTV is extremely underrated as a design. I remember them bottoming out at about £1,500 a few years ago in Auto Trader, but, unfortunately, those days are long gone.
6) Alfa Romeo 8C '30s
I didn't really take too much notice of car from this era, but then I laid my eyes upon the Alfa Romeo 8C. It is just dangerously beautiful. When that lottery win comes in, I'm heading to the auctions.
5) Alfa Romeo Montreal
The Montreal absolutely nails the look you tried to do in high school, 'the lazy eye.' You'd be leaning against the wall at the school dance trying to look as cool as possible by doing a little squint to make it look like you were too good to be there. Where you looked like you had an eye infection, the Montreal looks achingly cool.
4) Alfa Romeo 8C
A modern masterpiece. Every angle is just perfection. Go on, I dare you. Show me one angle that isn't and I'll send you a crisp £5 note in the post.
3) Alfa Romeo Disco Volante
OK, not technically an Alfa Romeo, but I can't not include it. To formally complain, quote 'we want our money back' in the comments.
2) Alfa Romeo 6C 2500 Super Sport Coupe
Is anyone else getting butterflies? No? Just me then.
Alfa Romeo Tipo 33 TT 12
Alfa Romeo 8C 2900B Lungo Spider
Alfa Romeo SE048 SP
1) Alfa Romeo Tipo 33 Stradale
Here you go, the sexiest Alfa… nay sexiest car of all time, the Alfa Romeo Tipo 33 Stradale. Thank you and goodnight.