REVIEWED: WALKING
[A detailed Road Test Report]
Introduction -
Introduction...
I actually don't know anyone who walks everywhere. Most of my friends are about as energetic as a dead sloth. For the majority of them, sitting in front of the telly and cracking open a beer is about as much exercise as they get.
I don't really worry too much about how much road people take up. On the quiet, leafy Staffordshire/Cheshire border where I live, traffic is light at worst. The biggest hazards on the road are white van men and school run mums in their Chelsea Tractors during the week and nutters on crotch rockets at the weekend. Yes, there's the one guy with a really noisy Suburu who intentionally irritates the entire village by driving in such a way as to make his dump valve as noisy as possible on a Sunday afternoon.
I'll be honest I'm not inclined to give up fuel for week. That would not only be 'properly meaningless and irrelevant', but it would also be really irritating.
- James MAY'properly meaningless and irrelevant'
Like James May, my commute is approximately 2 miles. Which while quite convenient can also be quite annoying. It basically means if I want to actually DRIVE my car as the designers intended, I need to find another excuse to do it. Pootling through a fairly rural village at 30 mph is not exactly testing my Focus ST3 to the limits. Unlike Mr. May, I don't have the option of travelling by boat to work. I suppose technically I could probably make the journey with a rocket belt if I could arrange a refueling station halfway, but the sensible alternatives are basically walking and cycling. I've cycled, and I may review that one day too. But walking is kind of more attractive. It doesn't require special equipment or a change of clothes.
I didn't pass any shops or motorcycle showrooms. I didn't really meet any members of the community to interact with. I passed some houses and fields... Oh and a stray dog and a bunch of traffic cones.
Traffic cones.
Benefits? Well it's cheaper than the gym. It's free exercise! It's also more pleasant than getting absolutely knackered sweating your tits off on an exercise bike for 30 minutes. Though if I'm honest I find 'the gym' about as appealing as volunteering for a back and sack wax for charity.
It's a chance to get some fresh air! (Though swapping my Focus ST3 for a 997 Carrera 4S convertible could ALSO achieve this! It's also saved me about 50p worth of fuel. I'll be frank, I enjoyed it. However I am acutely aware that the current weather conditions are an important factor in this.
The route
When I made the journey a few times in the winter, for some reason I got horrific chaffing leading to a case of nearly being hospitalized with crotch rot. Dousing my sack and inner thighs with sudocrem for about a month solved the problem, but it was something of an inconvenience.
Yes, I may continue walking to work from time to time... If the weather is nice! Now, onto the road test!
WALKING: DETAILED ROAD TEST REPORT
- Introduction
Walking to work is a an option for anyone who still has use of their legs. Yes, I accept as the journey gets greater, the convenience factor lowers. I believe Richard Hammond's commute from Bollitree to the DriveTribe Office, is about 3 hours and 15 minutes in the car. If he elected to stretch his legs for a change, then that commute would increase to around 40 hours. So to get into the office for 9 AM on Monday morning - he'd have to set out at 8 AM on Saturday morning. This would create certain logistical issues, and I don't think he'd be very fit for work come Monday. Walking however is cheap, and has many benefits. But how does it stack up?
There's even a bin to deposit dog poo en-route, so no excuses!
- Design & Styling 0/5
It would be impossible to discuss the design and styling of this vehicle because there is essentially no vehicle. I could tell you about my Rab jacket and my crappy, Next, slip-on shoes which are comfortable but look about as smart as a chavvy tracksuit, but you might go for a different clothing option. I might go for a different one too on another day! I think we'd better skip this bit.
A corner
- Interior 0/5
The interior of my Rab jacket is grey and it's quite warm. However, this section of a Road Test doesn't really function that well for walking as you may have a different jacket. Or you might be one of those complete nutters who like to walk around naked! So erm, we'll skip this too shall we?
This route is all downhill in the morning. So pretty easy.
- Performance 1/5
Now the traditional 0-60 mph is not something I was able to measure. The only way I could accelerate to 60 mph without a vehicle is if I threw myself out of a plane without a parachute at 40,000 feet. However I quite like being alive most of the time, so I'm not willing to try this. I was able to experience short bursts of acceleration, however they could hardly be called impressive. It doesn't help that I'm about as fit as a dead fat man whose had two quadruple heart bypasses. It could be that some people, like that smug, Usain Bolt, git can experience more brisk and exhilarating performance. My aging and slightly dilapidated body is more of a Morris Marina to Usain Bolt's Ferrari F40 though, so performance was NOT impressive.
More road.
- Ride & Handling 5/5
The ride was actually quite comfortable. Despite making the walk in office shoes, they are so old and knackered now they feel more like slippers. They coped well with the sections of hardcore, tarmac, pavement and cobble which I had to traverse. They also allowed sharp, precise cornering and had an impressive amount of grip! Yes, I admit this wasn't the case when I did this exercise a few months ago and narrowly escaped slipping and breaking my pelvis, but today my ancient, Next, loafers performed brilliantly.
One of the many sections with no pavement, thankfully there are also hardly any cars.
MPG & Running Costs 0/5
Now this one is difficult to measure using the normal means. I can't fill up at the pumps and see how many miles it lasts, because if I drank petrol - I think I'd die. However using my FitBit I was able to get some figures on economy.
Now the calorific value of petrol is 8,325,818 calories per litre. That's a LOT of energy. In making this route I burned 181 calories. So in theory, if I WERE a car, I'd have been approximately 1 mile on this journey. Now a litre is about a 5th of a gallon. So in a gallon of petrol there is approximately 41,629,090 calories. If I divide that figure by what I burned doing this one mile - it gives me 229,995. So theoretically that means my personal fuel economy translates to around 229,995 miles per gallon. However, what type of food you eat determines the cost per calorie.
We need to pick a rough figure though, so let's work on an average of 10p per calorie - that should give us an idea.
So if I drove my car for 30 miles doing 30 mpg it would cost me about 1 gallon of petrol costing approximately £6. If I walked for 30 miles at 181 calories per mile, it would cost me about 5430 calories. at 10p per calorie that makes £543. Even if we went for the cheapest, dodgiest food going and got it for 1p a calories, the journey would cost £54.30!
I WAS going to give economy 5/5... However that is clearly wrong. Walking is actually horrendously UNECONOMICAL! It's technically more economical to drive to work in a 6x6 supercharged V8, Petrol Landrover Defender.
The village through which I meander to get to work.
- Verdict 3/5
Walking is a niche vehicle. It's suitable only for those of us with a sensibly short commute. Comfort is largely dependent on the weather, much like motorcyclists. At face value it appears very economical and cheap, however when you do the sums it isn't actually as economical as you think.
One of the few hazards of walking this route. You do NOT want to drop your keys down!
I suppose a caveat is that unlike your car, you can't turn your body off to save fuel when you're not using it, so some of the 181 calories would have been burned if you'd driven anyway. It can be enjoyable, but ultimately walking rides on the pleasantness of your route, the distance of your commute and the weather conditions on the day.
- Prices & Specs
It's free! Although you COULD factor in £50 for a decent pair of trainers? There's not really much to consider in terms of 'spec' though.
This was a response to James May's review of walking:-
Martyn Stanley
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Comments (11)
Pretty good. I like the level of in-depthness to the road test.
Thanks James, I thought the detailed analysis would appeal to you. I wasn't happy with the maths on economy vs driving though. So I did a MORE detailed analysis! Want to know which works out cheaper? The answer is here:-...
Read moreI enjoyed this very much. Great stuff, Martyn!
Thanks Helene! 😉
I hate walking. It's fine if you're doing it for the sake of it, as in you're talking or taking in scenery, but in terms of being a medium of travel, it's horrendous. It takes you so long to get from a place to a place, like the holiday house and beach. Often I can't help myself and end up running, which isn't sustainable.
This was a nice article.
PS: Lest you judge, be advised that I am not a surfing dude who's often at the beach. I was thinking of a recent example where the observations above were impressed particularly upon my mind.
Thanks ! 👍
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Thanks so much! Appreciated!