Roast My Ride: The best of the week
Call the fire department, we've had some serious burn over here
It's been quite a week on Roast My Ride. Feelings were hurt, tears were shed, and at one point, something unthinkable happened: Someone actually posted car that we all liked! Check it out:
It warms the heart to see an old Lancia getting love from you, the typically remorseless roasters. Ok, Micheal Connolly did essentially call it a rust bucket, but in fairness that is objectively true of all Lancias and therefore doesn't count as a roast. Nonetheless, great to see a fleeting moment of peace and love.
But enough of that guff, on with the most brutal roasts of the week:
3. I bet this made him really Saab
Philip Davidsson was kind enough to share this rare photo of two Saabs grazing together in the wild. I like that he took the time and effort to get two of the same car into the pic, as if thinking: 'They may not be convinced by one crap Saab - but surely if I present it in 2 colours, they will recognise it's magnificence!' As you can see from the comments above, we did not. If I were to paraphrase the overall feeling in the comments, it would be something along the lines of 'Dump those two shits in the field/scrapheap you found them in' Tough but fair. Soz Philip
2. Nan jokes always a winner
This next sweet burn comes from the masculine, yet delicate fingers of yours truly: Some bozo was foolish enough to put their Rover Streetwise - surely the most optimistic car name out there - into the line of fire, and like clockwork, the internet was quick to crap all over his car, hopes and dreams. I felt compelled to join the fray and comment on that silly, silly name:
'About as 'Streetwise' as my posh Nan.'
By the way, if anyone out there doubts the poshness of my Nan, and would like to arrange a Skype call with her to confirm, you can't because she's dead. But she STILL has more street cred than that shit Rover.
1. Stereotypes are made to be broken
What you see above is a typical ride-roasting sight. A Fiat 500 has been offered up to the roastmasters, and we all know exactly how that ends up. Sure enough, the words 'Daddy's car' were in the very first comment. Indeed, as as many of you will know, the stigma of the 500 in the UK has always been that it's the typical first car of posh girls with rich parents who get whatever they want. Harsh, but so often true.
However, not many of us were aware of the extension to this stereotype until the wordsmith Liam Evans stepped back in to further educate us. As you'll see below, things escalated quickly:
'May as well get the [Abarth] 595 and tell everyone your daddy sells coke and heroin for a living and you don't work for anything'
Righto, lots to unpack here. It seems that what Liam is eluding to in his own poetic way, is that while the stock Fiat 500 is driven by spoiled girls, the sportier Abarth 500 & 595 are also driven by posh girls... whose dads are bigtime drug dealers?
You learn something new everyday in Roast my Ride, people.
Keep the brutality coming and there's a good chance you'll be featured next week!