Something I don't like.

And all fingers are pointing at the Germans this time round.

I do not like robust things. Robust is boring. It lacks excitement, interest and originality. It means the job was done too well and that is not very good. It fact...........bad. Now this of course means that I should be so anti-german that I am on the brink of declaring war, but halt. There are flaws to this suggestion:

1. My country is neutral. And justifiably so.

2. I love Germany. Plus even if I didn't, as if Ireland would stand a chance.

3. I am but a citizen and as such, do not yet have the power to do so.

Dunno why I actually explained that but nevermind. As it happens, I do think German cars lack a bit of fun and flaw. I am not a fan of perfection by any means. Not that they're perfect, just I think they are some of the closest to it in terms of cars. What I'm actually getting at today is an identity issue that I find in cars, particularly those of Deutschland origin. And by 'identity issue' of course I the name.

Stop naming cars so terribly:

This is what I can't stand. I am someone who like all of us, holds cars very close to my heart indeed. Yet I can't and won't sit here and pretend to know my german cars. 125, 220, 318, 760. Recognise them? They somewhere somehow represent BMW models. Very specific models actually, because the 'Series' cars split into a bunch of 3 digit codes that symbolise technical crap which could be more appropriately written into a nice little handbook that will ultimately be dumped in a glovebox and left there forever. This means the cars could be given better names (god forbid using letters which actually serve a purpose for identifying things) that offer a sense of character and a decent representation by name.

Isn't it great? We know the Aventador, Continental, Phantom, Sportage, it opens a world of opportunity. But our german friends have consistently stuck numbers and dare I mention how they have brought random letters in too to really mess us about all over everything. This sort of system to me is better suited to 'code names' like those that manufacturers give to cars being tested under wraps, with a name that drops hints and builds excitement. Now I stress Germany's guilt in this because who else does this sort of thing. Well listen up:

C350, E550, C63, E200, S560. Yes I'm talking about Mercedes Benz. Who rumour has it has arisen from where was it? That's right, Stuttgart. Who else is from Stuttgart I wonder. OH of course, the 718, 911 964, 911 993, 911 997, and the total and utter icing on the cake.......911 997.2. Porsche really have been very, very unimaginative. Yes these all have meanings and have a reason but WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY must this apparently life or death info but stuck on the back of the car to replace a cool badge reading 'SUPERLIGHTNINGSPEEDYVROOMCAR' or something quirky like that. Imagine not knowing cars either, and when the motorheads can barely diffrentiate, the poor 'less interested' souls being completely lost should the subject ever arise. God it's so boring. We also know of this plight of uninspiring code being drabbed all over Audis in Germany. Then you go international and death stare Cadillac, McLaren, Ferrari and so on.

Does this bother anyone else? I mean of course I will stress this is but a pointless rant being made for fun and so I'm not trying to demand we dig up Ferdinard Porsche and play donkey with his skeleton. Or what's left of it.....wait is he even dead? Uh I'm not going looking that up now you can report back on that one.

Moral of the story is shoving stupif numbers and letters everywhere and signing it off as a 'name' is bad and is very boring and is very confusing if you don't take 100 years to learn every model since the early 20th century off by heart. And now that we are clear, I guess I can click post and be done with it. Proof reading is for looooosers so to hell with that. I do hope you enjoyed if you even read this so thank you to whoever did.

And yeah, domo origato. PS sry Germany for calling you out rather aggressively. I still love you.

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Comments (32)

  • ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Great article Aaron

      1 month ago
  • In some cases itโ€™s actually good, like Pontiacโ€™s G6 and G8. Simple but sounds good and represents the lineup well.

      1 month ago
    • nono thats fine, wat wud be wrong wud be if they put sixteen letters and 42 numbers in the names of a massive ass car lineup๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

        1 month ago
  • ''Stupif''

    -Aaron 'Muppet' SUALMS

      1 month ago
  • When Merc's naming convention indicated vehicle category and engine displacement, it made some sense. A distinctly-germanic precise sort of sense, naturally. Now, not so much. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ I'm a fan of *real* names for cars, too.

      1 month ago
  • I've been worried. You haven't posted much lately

      1 month ago
    • Oh well thank u very much.

      Things are changing slightly but i assure you i am trying my best๐Ÿ˜„.

      I rlly appreciate ur support

        1 month ago