- Tesla

This truck is BRUTAL. It's an assault to my eyes, begging me to stare at it more. "How can this be?" says my eyes. "I have no idea." says my brain. This is so weird and unusual, and I think i'm in love. I know a good amount of you are just like me, I saw that poll. You know this truck is weird and ugly and you love it just like this. You love it because it's weird and unusual, because it's not like anything we've ever seen. If I had the money, I would happily order one with no regrets.

Whether you love it or hate it, you all probably,y have the same question. How did this happen? Why were we given such an incredible/monstrous truck and as such a good price? Was it Elon's genius plan to disrupt the truck market? Is he really motivated only by his synthwave 80's aesthetic pleasures? Was the most powerful rendering computer in tesla an Commodore 64? I say it's none of those options. The truck ended up looking like this. It is a victim of its cost cutting measure in order to be competitive in the American truck market.

The undisputed greatest quality of a pickup truck is its value. You can have a vehicle that seats the whole family in a luxury interior with enough room for your kids to jump around in, a near limitless potential for carrying capacity with the bed, tow 8000lbs (3628.739kg) of whatever the hell you'd like, and perhaps even some decent gas mileage. All this for just $28,895 USD, an incredible value for your money. All of these trucks also have laundry list of options that can bring them up to the $100,000 level. You're just spoiled for choice really. Tesla has to compete with that.

Tesla uses cutting edge technology for create vehicles that are on par with standard cars in terms of easy use and convenience. As a result of this technology, the cost of development and productions can be quite high. Making the Model 3, which is a mid-sided entry level sedan, at $35,000 was crowned as a massive achievement in electric car affordability. And since a truck had to perform its job as a tool more than anything, Tesla had the huge hurdle of cost before them. Oh what ever was Tesla going to do to make this work? Well, the results speak for themselves.

Since they cut anything from the electric technology from the truck, they had to find another was to effectively cut costs. They they started at the beginning in the manufacturing process, how can we cut back on the cost of manufacturing? They simplify the metal fabrication. Normal factories for normal cars use giant expensive stamping machines to form the body panels. That takes a lot of development and money to implement, so Elon did away with it. To make it cheaper, they decided to take the basic sheets of metal and just simply crease and cut them. Basic flat sheets of metal are prone to warp and bend easily becuase there is no structure to it, so very strong metal would be required to support the body. Luckily, Tesla already happened to have easy access to a fantastically strong metal, the same cold-rolled stainless steel they use for the SpaceX rockets.

So now that they have their perfect metal, they can start designing the body. Natrually, weight is they enemy of all cars. In order to keep the weight as low as possible, they couldn't use the traditional body-on-frame method that other trucks use. Their solution was to make a car-like chassis that they're calling an exoskeleton for marketing purposes. There was one problem however. In order to make the stainless steel strong enough to not warp and bend, they had to make it 3mm thick. As a result, the body ended up weight a ton on its own. The doors themselves weigh about 60lb (27kg). Presented with this problem, the designers set out to find the best possible structure to hold up the immense weight of the body. They looked at every possible shape until they found one that would work. They call Elon over to show him their findings. "Listen sir, we tried our best to find a design for the truck and this is the only way we can make it work". The designer presents to Elon the CAD design of the triangle truck. Elon's widen with shock, "And thats the only structure that will safely hold up the truck?". "Yes", says the nervous designer. "We can work with this. It looks like its from Blade Runner or Cyberpunk, we can use 80's nostalgia to sell it. We really have to emphasize this so lets call it the Cybertruck!". The designer looks at him with a dumbfounded, shocked expression.

That is very likely how this Cybertruck came to be. The result of cost cutting spun to look like genius 80's theming. It seems to have worked pretty well. There are now over 170,000 preorders for the Cybertruck and if you will excuse me, I must now place my own preorder.

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