- Daniel Berman

The BMW 135i isn't a faster horse

If Henry Ford had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. The car industry today is full of faster horses. This isn't one of them

This is so stupid.

You know where this is going. "I bought a [blank], and here's why it's brilliant..."

When in truth, nobody needs to hear for the millionth time that "[blank] is the best [blank] of [blank] era."

So let's get through this very quickly. I bought a BMW 135i. And you don't need to be told why it's brilliant. Why should you care what some shmuck on the internet has to say about his own car?

Truth is, I'm fairly convinced that 99% of all "new car announcements" are merely an exercise in self-validation.

And it's not like I can bring anything new to the table; this car is fucking brilliant! It's the age-old formula of hot rodding, take a small car, jam a big engine into it, add a snickety six-speed manual, and some good steering. That's it!

"If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." The car industry today is full of faster horses.

Henry Ford once said that "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." The car industry today is full of faster horses. And as a golden rule, the customer is always wrong; this is why nothing good ever comes from a focus group.

The X3 and X5 are BMW's best-selling models. Or to put it another way, the brand which a decade ago was best known for producing the world's greatest sports sedans now leads the market in 5,200 lb SUVs.

Why?

Because when BMW asked its customers what it was they wanted, they asked for faster horses.

More space, more power, more luxury, more convenience.

So, BMW responded with a 2.4 tonne, 400-hp, luxurious, convenient lump of an SUV.

But the question is, who'll blink first?

Who will be the first to realize that customers aren't good at designing cars?

I hope that it will be BMW, because once customers realize that they aren't car designers, they'll buy something else. And BMW will eventually cease to exist. And that will be a real shame, because driving the 135i you can see what the Germans are capable of when they really try.

๐Ÿš—

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Comments (14)

  • Oh thank god somebody else apart from me sees the BMW Xs for what they really are: a shamefull abomination for a brand that made its name with the M3 and M5!!! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜Š

    And my congrats on the new ride! I haven't driven the 135i, but I've driven enough BMrs to know that it is bloody brilliant to drive. I wouldn't buy it for myself, I am more of a Mercedes man, Mercs fit better with my driving style, which is mostly calm and subtle, with ocasional hard acceleration or fast lane changing. But, from time to time I feel like driving a BMW, so I get a rental 320d, which is very easy and cheap thanks to carsharing service, drive the wheels (and tyre thread) off it for a couple of hours, and then get back into my Merc.

    Whish you to do some serious mileage in that 135i ๐Ÿ˜‰

      4 days ago
  • I donโ€™t know I think that BMW is kinda overdoing it with suvs at the moment but suvs are what makes it so BMW can make stuff like the M5 CS and if they stopped making suvs then they would probably lose a significant amount of money and customers.

      3 days ago
  • Its pretty much a 2 door Mercedes A-Class from the early 2010s. But hey, the styling looks decent!

      3 days ago
  • Beautiful car with very responsive engine, seamless transmission and great handling. My wife drives M135i 6-speed hatchback and loves it. Enjoy it!

      3 days ago
  • Not every car is built purely for speed. Not even sports cars such as the 135i mentioned here. A company such as BMW also has to be profitable in order to stay in business. Hence the various price points for varying degrees of performance oriented cars. If a person wants a faster 135i, they should spend the extra money for the 135i M-Sport version. It is equipped with the N54 twin-turbo straight-six that offers about 300HP & 300lb-ft of torque. If that's not fast enough, spend the extra money on a M4 Competition model with over 500 hp and 479 lb-tf torque... et cetera. The car pictured above (as the hero image) wasn't built for track-day yabbos wanting faster horses.

      3 days ago
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