THE CALLUM AWARDS OF 2018

12w ago

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In the spirit of reminiscing. I thought I would round off this unbelievably shite year by producing my own awards. Which was a fantastic idea, and not just because I’d come up with it, but because there was no one to argue with me about what would win an award.

2018 has given us some fantastic cars, crashes, and compilations so I thought I would round off 2018 with my own awards to honour the automotive community.

AVERAGE CAR OF THE YEAR

Every year the roads of the world are filled with cars, some exciting and vibrant, many boring. Throughout the year we spend many hours stuck in traffic being forced to look at another VW Golf. However, the average car of the year this year is the Ford Fiesta.

The Fiesta was given a Face-lift in 2017 and some minor changes have been made in 2018. But as far as I can see there isn’t a single interesting feature on the Fiesta. It's just a Fiesta. It takes you from A to B. there is nothing interesting about on the Fiesta.

The Fiesta is the best-selling car in the UK, with Ford selling 85,000 cars this year. That means that everyone in the UK is forced to look at 85,000 Fiesta’s! how boring.

WORST CAR

There have been some amazing cars this year and some terrible ones. But the worst simply has to be the Jeep Wrangler I’ve never been the biggest fan of Jeep’s, and the Wrangler has had the same design for about 20,000 years, like the Porsche 911. However, the latest Jeep Wrangler has now gone down to a 1-star safety rating. People buy SUV’s and off-roaders because they are safer in a crash, maybe in the case of the Volvo XC90 but not in the case of the Jeep.

The Wrangler is not designed for the UK market. Jeep has fitted it with another great big V8, that gets through fuel like its nobody’s business. Fuel in the UK is going through another price increase, unless a V8 is in a supercar it’s not likely to sell well. I’ve only ever seen two Jeep Wranglers in the UK. In 18 years. So Good luck Jeep and good luck to anyone who buys one. You’ll need it with a safety rating that low.

BEST CAR TO LOOK FORWARD TOO

There are some awesome cars to look forward to in 2019, as well as a brand-new series of the Grand Tour! The car that you should be most looking forward too is the Skoda Scala.

The Scala is Skoda’s answer to the VW Golf, and Seat Leon, but being over £2,000 cheaper than the baseline Golf and being a 5-door car, the Scala will be better than the Golf. The Scala will also boast good Czech/German Reliability and build quality as well as not having a stupid price tag, the Scala will definitely be a car to look forward too in 2019. Not so sure about the name, does sound like an STD.

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BEST SUPERCAR

2018 has given us some excellent supercars such as the TVR Griffith and the McLaren Senna. But none of them can compare to the Ferrari 812 Superfast, which is why its supercar of the year

The 812 is the Replacement for the F12, with the looks and engine of a great car the F12 certainly creates that sense of occasion that a supercar should, the 812 is also very aerodynamic which helps it to reach speeds of over 210 MPH. the 812 certainly is a car to add to your Wishlist. Maybe Next Christmas?

GOPPING GRILL

A lot of modern cars are fitted with either adaptive cruise control or sensors or cameras for all sorts of reasons, and although this does assist the driver it does create some gopping grill’s, however, one brand does stand out by having the most Gopping Grill ever fitted to a car. ALL AUDI’S.

All modern Audi’s are fitted with a huge gopping grill that looks like it could easily swallow a Grand Piano whole. I just don’t understand why it’s necessary to fit a grill the size of a dining room table on the front of a 4 door saloon car.

BEST SUV

SUV’s are quickly becoming the most popular car on the roads. All car manufacturers are now making SUV’s. Some SUV’s are slow, but not this one. The best SUV of the year is the Lamborghini Urus.

The Urus has the look of a Lamborghini with that aggressive front end that tells you it’s Lambo miles off. Lamborghini have hit the nail on the head with the SUV. They’ve identified that it needs to be spacious, comfortable, and fast and then they’ve gone and made the ultimate SUV which is why the Lamborghini is the Best SUV of 2018.

BEST OFF-ROADER

We’ve seen some good off-roaders launched in 2018 but there can only be one to win the best off-roader in 2018 and that is the Land Rover Defender 70th Anniversary V8.

The Land Rover Defender will always be a favourite of mine, and now its back (briefly) for its 70th Birthday, but with a V8. DRIVETRIBE’s own Richard Hammond has just picked up his 70th Anniversary Land Rover and I can’t wait to see what it’s like to drive and to own. The Defender couldn’t not win best off-roader especially as its 70 this year. Just like the NHS.

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WORST CAR DROPPED FROM PRODUCTION

This is an award for a car manufacturer who has finally seen the light and decided to drop a car because its crap, and there can only be one winner, and I won’t have any arguments about this, the worst car dropped from production is the Fiat Punto.

The Punto had one of the worst reputations of any car ever made. Its uncomfortable, unreliable, and has one of the worst safety ratings ever for a mass production car. It has a 0-star safety rating at 30MPH, that its atrocious especially for a little city car that will spend a lot of its life being driven at 30MPH.

CLASSIC CAR OF THE YEAR

There are hundreds of classic cars around, so it was very hard to choose Classic Car of the year. But due to the weather circumstances we encountered this summer especially in the UK the Classic Car of the year is the 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air Convertible

The 1957 Chevy Bel Air is the most sold second hand car in history and is by far the most elegant car on the planet. The Bel Air has a nice big 4.3L V8 engine that helped to move the massive and magician machine around the states.

BIGGEST TWAT OF THE YEAR

The roads are full of Twats these days from slow old grannies in their Nissan Micra’s to boy racers in their Vauxhall Corsa’s and Ford Fiesta’s, however I saw one video the other day that just trumps the lot

This just has to be the biggest twat of the year. According to police the driver of the car pulled a runner after trying to steal some Alcohol from the store. Pulling and unsuccessful runner the bloke tried to escape. By crashing into every car in the car park. After smashing his car to pieces probably about x8 the value of the alcohol he’d stolen. The batshit bloke managed to escape. What an idiotic twat.

Thank you for reading the Callum Awards of 2018. If you disagree with anything then you're wrong. On a serious note, thanl you to everyone who has supported me and read my work in 2018, I can't promise that the content I produce in 2019 will be any better but I will try.

Happy New Year !

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