The Curse of 911 Ownership
Which might not have occurred to you
Any observant followers of DriveTribe, particularly those happy fools who have the misfortune to follow me, may have noticed a pattern to my posting over the last few months. Ironically, the symptom of the topic I covered in my posts kind of gives away the cause. At least a little I think.
What the hell are you babbling about?
Well, for the billionteenth time, I don't want to say this - but I'm going:-
'Back in June I bought a Porsche 911'
Big deal! You bought mildly interesting car. So what?
The thing is, once upon a time... Many moons ago, I used to consider myself something of a freelance motoring journalist. I was regularly posting on all sorts of interesting topics in the automotive theme. They were popular! Well, some of them were. Well one of them.... Maybe?
However, the well appears to have run dry.
Why is that?
Okay, I'll be frank. Last year wasn't the best year for me. As years go, it was the equivalent of a Chris Evans hosted episode of 'Top Gear'. But I really don't think that's the reason! I was also fairly busy. I'd been working on a horrendously complex novel that covers a timeline from the 14th century to present day, is written in parts in about six languages and was in a genre I'm new to. A lot of my creative energy went into finishing it, editing it and getting it published. It wasn't easy, but I finally got it out:-
If you're interested in it, you can check it out here.
Is that why the reason? I honestly don't think so.
So what is the reason for the lack of posting and the limited themes?
When I bought the 911, the present Mrs. Stanley was surprisingly positive about it. She's usually about as enthusiastic about a car purchase, as Jeremy Clarkson is about quinoa. She honestly prefers the 911 to the old Focus ST and not just because of the Ford's spine-shattering ride, but also because the 911, despite being a faster car, simply doesn't have the ASBO image of an ST3.
I've been very positive about the car too. Traditionally I start researching my next car purchase something like 3 months after swapping cars. However, with the Porsche, this just hasn't happened.
I think what HAS happened, is I've started to turn into an 'enthusiast'. Now this isn't unique to the 911, and I suspect a lot of people buy a 911 without ever becoming an enthusiast.
But what does that mean?
Well, it all started back before I bought it. If you look at my post history you'll see a recent post where I documented the two year process of deciding which 911 to get on DriveTribe with regular posts covering all aspects of the possible choices. I did a LOT of research. I went from thinking, 'I'd quite like a 911, but they're expensive - so it'll have to be an old one.'
To thinking, 'I don't really want a 996 because of the dated interior, the fried-egg headlights, the IMS issues, the risk of bore-scoring or the potential RMS failure. I'd quite like a 997.2 and if I got one I'd take an auto because the PDK seems a great system, but they're quite expensive and unless I'm prepare to pay top whack VED I'm limited to a Carrera 2. So I think I want a late model, 2006 model ideally 997.1 in a manual, so it has the later, larger IMS bearing which is less prone to failure, but I want it on a 55 plate so I can have any spec and not pay top VED. I don't want a Targa, or a cabrio, I want the widebody, but can't afford a GTS or Turbo, so it'll have to be a 4. If you have a 4, you really need the S so it doesn't feel a bit sluggish and underpowered, but that does mean you get the extended leather pack as standard.... etc...etc...
I set out looking for a very specific car. It had to meet a LOT of criteria. I also wanted it in yellow [a recommendation from my good friend and colleague - a Mr. James May] with the aero kit, but I couldn't find that car. I think the exact car I wanted probably doesn't actually exist.
Yeah, we've all researched buying a car...
The thing is, the research didn't stop there. I ended up joining about seven Porsche 997 groups on Facebook and debating and sharing photos with other members on a daily basis. I now regularly end up in conversations about the Mezger engine and it's origins and why the 997.1.5 Turbo might be a superior car to the 992. I own books on my car. I bought a Lego model of my car. Instead of scouring the autotrader looking for what I might get next, I'm looking at reviews of aftermarket suspension options and the Hartech 3.9 L oversized engine rebuild. I actually want a Porsche T-shirt. Something I would never have expected to want just a year ago. They are horrendously expensive and I still suspect there's a minor risk of looking like a twat wearing one, but I still want one!
So you're turning into a Porsche nerd? How does that affect-
Well it means most of my postage recently has been basically, really cheap, tacky drivel about, 'Oh look at me! I bought a Porsche!' Makes me seem like a petulant child that got the Lego Deathstar for Christmas. Or like the well-hung git that gets his 9" cock out in the gents, just to make sure everyone knows he got a bigger dick than anyone else. It's not a nice image and it's NOT me!
The thing is though, when you start down the slippery slope of becoming an enthusiast, your interest in other cars and other automotive topics starts to wane. It could've happened with the X-Type, I think I dodged a bullet there. A mate of mine who had an X-Type at the same time wasn't so lucky. He ended up buying an S-Type R and becoming a certified Jaguar nut. Now he spends his days on the Jaguar groups commenting on crusty old E-Types and discussing issues with the diesel XF engine.
So that's it is it? You're going to be posting like you're the next Mark Webber?
I don't know! Back in the day I had the wind in my sails when I was posting on DriveTribe. I was enjoying it and getting ideas faster than I could write them. These days, that just isn't the case. Now I find myself preferring driving my car than writing about other cars. Sadly I'm not even doing that. Despite telling myself I'd drive my 911 every day, I ended up garaging it until the gritters stop to protect the bodywork. I may start posting again, but sadly I suspect most of my posts will rather boringly be, generally Porsche 911 themed.
showing a lack of respect for people or things that are generally taken serious
Stories and images of supercar crashes, in honour of veteran crasher Hammond