The Honda Civic Type R Is The Car We All Hate To Love
Ugly is the new sexy
In last week’s episode of The Grand Tour, Jeremy and Richard were driving two truly beautiful British classics – an Aston Martin DB4 GT and a Jaguar XKSS respectively. It was a positively orgasmic session of indulgence in undeniably the best thing about the 50s.
So, naturally, when James turned up in a red and black Honda Civic Type R, with red rims and a spoiler, I, along with every other petrolhead in the world, screamed and shouted at the television. James had ruined the classics fest with his horrid twenty-first-century Japanese engineering. How dare he.
Image Credit: Amazon Prime Video
Image Credit: Orange Honda
I mean, look at it. There are way too many pointy bits – even the wheel arches look sharp enough to take your finger off. I’d hate to get too close to the edge of that spoiler. And then there’s the colour scheme – red and black are literally the colours of Satan. And it’s extremely shiny. Why is it so damn shiny?
I hate this car. I have a seething and unquenchable thirst to see it burn, borne out of sheer hatred for it and everyone who was involved in making it. I hated it when it pulled up on the street in Pau on TGT, and James got out of it. I hate everything about it, a bit like the way Hammond feels towards Nissan Juke drivers.
Image Credit: Amazon Prime Video
But I also love it.
This car is like a really crappy burger. It’s full of rubbish. The cheese is made of plastic, the lettuce is literally rubber, the ketchup consists of pure sugar, and you’d be willing to bet that the burger contains no actual meat whatsoever – it’s just salt, a few chemicals and some old carbon fibre resin.
Imagine you’re out with a friend, at an extremely fancy restaurant, eating a Michelin-star meal. Caviar. Truffles. Lobster. It’s the most expensive meal you’ll ever have and it tastes absolutely exquisite. You’re having a wonderful time.
Then, another friend of yours strolls into the restaurant wearing shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and plonks a burger box down onto the table. They open it up and take out their monstrous burger. The grease is literally running down their hands. You and your friend scoff at your uncultured companion and continue to pick at your lobster.
Secretly, you want the burger. You can’t help it. That thing is packed with fat, salt and sugar, which you are literally biologically programmed to yearn for. Even though the fancy food is the best you’ve ever eaten, you desperately want that greasy, filthy burger.
That is exactly how I feel about the Honda Civic Type R, especially the new one. I want to hate it. But I just can’t.
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Comments (23)
Bring it. Quick, ridiculous, fairly inexpensive. Too long has the US been deprived of truly silly cars the rest of the world gets.
I love it. It’s not pretty, but it makes a statement. No Boring Cars.
Just embrace it. Love the car in its excessive glory.
It’s not terrible; however, the giant wing looks wrong. The rear of the vehicle needs to be redone.
Actually I got the Civic Hatchback , I really Love The Civic Type R
So... the Type-R is the Coldplay of the car world?