The Internet's new favorite doorstop: Tesla Cybertruck
I'm genuinely dumbstruck by this thing.
To open with a "I'm at a loss of words" is ironic because a post needs to have words otherwise it is nothing. When we joke about pickup trucks being simple, we mean that they serve their purpose, and don't need to conform to the same style as other vehicles. Tesla has showed us that one of those rules apply to their Cybertruck.
Obviously its an EV but....why. Just why. I just got done listening to journalists laugh about the grill on the Genesis G90 because of its size, but wait until they get a load of this budget Batmobile that Elon Musk just released to the public. I don't think I've ever been genuinely annoyed by a vehicle's existence, but this thing needs to return to 2077 and someone needs to bankrupt Tesla to make sure that this abomination never reaches the market.
I don't care that it will be more useful than an F-150, or do zero to 60 in under three seconds. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD SPEND OVER $70,000 ON A GIANT WEDGE?! Literally how did a company like Tesla decide that they needed to make an uglier version of a first generation Honda Ridgeline, and how did people actually approve this thing to create a concept?
I hope people realize that this isn't a "Down with Tesla" post, because I am still genuinely excited for their Semi truck, unless it comes out looking like an escape pod from any 1980's Sci-Fi film. The ATV in the back is pretty cool, but I can't actually fathom that this is something that the world wants.
I do have to give this thing some credit. Seating for six, a tow rating of 7500 pounds, zero to sixty in 6.5 seconds and a base price of under $40,000 is something almost as otherworldly as this things styling, and I'm sure that fleet owners are chomping at the bit to get this thing plastered with their logos, but I am going to be one of those people that hates this thing until they announce that it will be discontinued, and no amount of falcon-wing doors and flamethrowers are going to change my mind.
If you need me, I'm going to go stare at literally anything else and hope that this thing doesn't haunt my dreams. Comment below with anything that you believe is more appealing than this.