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- Hero image from: mplschamber.com Text and errors by: Chris Breeden

The Minneapolis city council bans all new drive-thru windows

1w ago

19.5K

Every now and then you come across a story that's so "woke" you have to wonder if it's satire. Today's whopper comes courtesy of the Minneapolis, Minnesota city government and directly concerns Whoppers (that's with a capital "W"). In an effort to combat vehicle emissions, the city council has decided to stop approving plans to construct new drive-thru windows in the city.

It turns out this genius level thinking is two-fold. Not only will this progressive move cut down on vehicle emissions, (by a reported 80 per cent!), it will also decrease traffic accidents involving pedestrians hit by drive-thru patrons by .69 per cent!

This is part of the City Council's 2040 plan. A grand scheme to lower overall emissions in the city by 2050. Among other things the plan calls for the phasing out of gas stations and implementing mandatory parking regulations all in the name of discouraging car ownership.

Yes, idling produces wasteful pollution, but so do red lights, traffic jams and stop signs. It really makes you wonder just how long the drive-thru lines in Minneapolis are, if eliminating them will cut down emissions by 80 per cent. Fast Food restaurants must be staffed with city employees!

The .69 per cent decrease in pedestrian accidents will probably be offset by people getting hit in the parking lot by cars that would have just went through the drive-thru before this ordinance was passed.

I was unable to find when this will come into effect, but for all you Minnesotans out there, you'd better buy your Whoppers, McNuggets and Frostys before crossing the Minneapolis city limits! Of course, if the lines are really that long you probably already are!

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