Hello, DriveTribers, once again, and I hope you’re enjoying the season of goodwill for all men and toys. This piece of writing will be dedicated to a car James May had on one of Top Gear’s Christmas specials. It also celebrates the 2nd anniversary of the that Christmas special…the Patagonia special and that car is the Lotus Esprit!
One of the first faults that you realise after taking a quick glance at this car is that it has many pimple-like erections; they’re five if you count the unthinkably minute door mirrors. In Top Gear’s Patagonia special, Clarkson said that Lotus stood for “Lots of trouble usually serious”, and he’s unquestionably correct when it comes to the vulnerable rear bumper, which also, quite ironically, has the exhaust plastically attached to it. The word esprit on both sides was probably painted by a computer that was monitored by a slightly oblivious bloke. Hang on, it’s Lotus; it was painted by the oblivious man not that computer. The steering wheel might be on the right side of the car, but it’s not a steering wheel. It’s a primordial food plate from one of Queen Elizabeth I’s Christmas dinners. Moreover, the dashboard might seem spacious and fancy, but it has no dials, so that’s a bit of a downer. In addition, the wheels are overly tightly screwed that they hardly function properly.
Be that as it may, the Esprit has a smart body. It might’ve been made in the 20th century, but it looks like a car of the future. That’s the thought of the future nowadays young adults had when they used to watch Boomerang and Cartoon Network; the mixture of the white colour, sharp edges and curves is their idea of future. That thought might soon be a thing of the past when nowadays kids grow up. The boot is perfectly sized to give the owner the opportunity to opt for a pickup truck.
I’m not going down creativity lane this time, but I’ll only be saying that it looks like one of the 80s hot hatches that got stretched and spaghettified after entering a black hole’s event horizon. In a nutshell, it’s a smart, futuristic strand of cooked dough. And on that bombshell, it’s time to end. See you in 2017. Buhbye.