In automotive terms, insinuating that there's a trouble with Koenigsegg is akin to saying that there's a trouble with a particular ethnic minority. It is treated like motoring racism, with anyone who says anything that some idiot can twist to appear insulting towards the brand immediately shouted down in a torrent of abuse. Given the name of this blog then, that either makes me brave, or profoundly stupid. But there's no other way of saying this: there is a trouble with Koenigsegg.
I'm not going to express the critique I have before for the brand too heavily here: that being that Koenigseggs have the worst driving position I've ever encountered, which isn't particularly confidence inspiring considering the time-travel performance they're capable of.
That performance however has resulted in Koenigsegg amassing a particular type of fanbase: the majority of which being tiny minded enough to allow cars like their Regera megacar to reset their internal speed preference for what they consider to be fast or slow. Anything that is slower than the Regera – in other words, pretty much every car that's ever touched the tarmac of a public highway – is seen as slow and unworthy in their book. And I'm sorry, but how stupid can you get?!
Whenever someone comments on a video or a blog to state their amazement at just how staggeringly fast a certain car is – like for instance, McLaren's 720S, which is without question mesmerisingly, pant-shittingly fast – there always has to be one clever, clever bastard respond by saying...
"...but a Regera is faster."
No shit, Sherlock! Every time you're on a plane and you look down at how small the world is from 40,000 feet, do you say "but the Space-Shuttle flew higher"? When Concorde used to dart across the pond in 3 and a quarter hours at 1350mph, did you ever say "but the Blackbird SR-71 was faster"? Every time you hear a man call his wife beautiful, do you but in and say "but Margot Robbie is prettier"? Probably not – because if you hear a man paying a woman a compliment, they aren't married!
Koenigsegg fans that do this annoy the hell out of me! The more stentorian fans that think anyone who mildly criticises their favour car brand is pissing on their ancestor's graves also irritate me to boiling point! They are some of the most brainless people the automotive world has ever seen, and that's probably because the appeal of Koenigseggs is one that doesn't require a brain to process. But for those of us who do have a decent chunk of intelligence in our skull, at least we can enjoy what the Swedish nutcases do more objectively.
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Written by: Angelo Uccello
Tribe: Speed Machines
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