Car manufacturers have taken to the social media age like Donald Trump to pissing off millions. Each and every one of them has a Facebook page, a Twitter account, and some even use that ultimate shameless-self-glorification tool, Instagram. Their accounts awash of images that could comfortably fit under the “if cars could take selfies” bracket, accompanied by a hashtag or two.
The Rolls Royce Instagram page is a thing of considerable wonderment for a variety of different reasons. For one you have the numerous cars that are examples of opulent engineering perfection; then you have disgustingly crazy designs that should be sentenced to automotive euthanasia.
The above and below photos are of a special edition Rolls Royce Wraith made for someone called Michael Fux, which really does beg a question: what the Fux was he thinking?!
This is a Rolls Royce - it represents the height of luxurious automotive achievement. Yet it has been painted and trimmed in roughly the same shade of vile as radioactive snot! A quick search of Google later for the aforementioned Fux, and we uncover more disturbing finds.
He’s a Cuban-American businessman - which I guess once upon a time would’ve made him his own worst enemy. But regardless, his net worth is $75MILLION, and he’s used this money like any responsible petrol head would, in garnishing his life with multiple super and hyper-exotics. Just to name a few highlights from his garage, he’s got 2 Ferrari 458’s, 3 Aston Martin DBS's, 3 standard Ferrari 599’s & a 599 GTO, 3 Phantom Drophead’s, a Lamborghini Murcielargo LP640 Roadster, a Lamborghini Aventador Roadster, a Spyker C8 Laviolette, a Mercedes SLR McLaren, a Porsche Carrera GT, a Porsche 997 GT2 RS, a Porsche 997 4.0 RS, an Alfa Romeo 8C, a Mercedes SL65 AMG Black Series, a Saleen S7, a Ferrari Enzo, a Ferrari F12, a McLaren P1, a LaFerrari, a Porsche 918, a Pagani Huayra, a Ferrari FXX, a Bugatti Veyron, and probably a partridge in a pear tree. Sounds mouthwatering, doesn’t it? But because he’s had the last word on the aesthetics - and he likes his cars to stand out like a pig in a mosque - driving some of them down any road would be like attending a funeral in Joseph’s magic technicolour dreamcoat.
Luckily, a few have escaped ruination by his flamboyant personality - including, mercifully, the Veyron. His Phantoms on the other hand resemble to sort of thing Rolls would be producing if they appointed a toddler as head of design. The Drophead was an ostentatious car anyway, but thanks to being Fux-ed up, they’re now unbearably repugnant. Even Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen would struggle to keep his Foie Gras down at the sight of them!
So ladies and gentlemen, if you love cars and just so happen to become insanely rich one day, please don't decide to drive around in a mobile migraine-maker. Mr Fux might be a very nice philanthropic fellow - but in my view, he's wrecked masterpieces by styling them to be ideal transport to take Alice to Wonderland.
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Cleansing rant by: Angelo Uccello
Tribe: Speed Machines
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