THE UNDERCUT – YOUR LAST WORD ON THE ITALIAN GRAND PRIX

In most of my race previews, I mention the weather forecast. I’m English, you see, and it's something of a national fascination for us. But, after the weekend’s Italian Grand Prix, I think I’ll have to stop.

Friday at Monza was widely predicted to be a complete wash-out, with rain of biblical proportions expected. Saturday meanwhile was set to be perfect – the sun would be cracking the paving stones.

Of course, in reality it was the COMPLETE opposite of this. How could they get it so wrong? I mean, who does these forecasts, Honda?

Sky F1's roving reporter Ted Kravitz was left sodden. Pic: Sutton Images

Sky F1's roving reporter Ted Kravitz was left sodden. Pic: Sutton Images

So, after spending all of Saturday afternoon watching Italian rain on telly, we eventually got a thrilling Q3, with Lewis Hamilton nailing a record 69th pole while everybody else qualified somewhere behind him.

With the utterly, utterly stupid penalty system we have, it was nigh on impossible to work out who was where on the grid.

To add to the confusion, a fresh batch of penalties were delivered on Sunday morning. Stoffel Vandoorne was given a 25-place grid drop (for being Belgian or something, I have really ceased to care now) though despite that he started 18th. Meanwhile Carlos Sainz qualified 15th, was given a 10-place penalty and therefore started… 15th.

All of this daftness meant that only ONE driver would start the race where he qualified – and that was our polesitter. Bonkers.

Anyway, on to the race itself. After the deluge witnessed on Saturday, Sunday was dry and sunny. That was a blessing for the fans watching at the track but, to be honest, a bit of the wet stuff really would have been welcomed by TV viewers.

The Mercedes pair calmly strolled off in front to a clinically easy one-two, enjoying such an advantage that they were able to turn their engines down to chill mode. Everybody behind them was in drive-it-like-you-stole-it mode, but to no avail.

Even the mixed-up grid did not introduce much in the way of excitement; there was the odd coming together, but generally everybody was on their very best behaviour.

Contrast this with the action seen in the Formula 2 and GP3 races and it’s easy to see that F1 needs a fix. We really can’t wait years for this to happen, though there’s no doubt we will end up having to.

The F2 race was typically action-packed. Pic: Sutton Images

The F2 race was typically action-packed. Pic: Sutton Images

Martin Brundle confronted FIA head honcho Jean Todt about this on the grid and he came up with a long answer, which really told us nothing at all. He doesn’t inspire much confidence, our Jean.

Off track, it finally looks very much like the McLaren Honda relationship is in its final death throes. Before the race, Sky F1 pundit Ted Kravitz said an announcement of the spilt could come as soon as Monday, which would put an end to a hugely embarrassing episode for all involved.

In the race itself, Vandoorne retired his McLaren on lap 34, followed by Fernando Alonso a few tours from the chequered flag. Alonso was well and truly out of sorts all day – even his classic car for the drivers parade broke down on him.

Fernando had to catch a lift on Palmer's car, which became all the more comical after their in-race spat. Pic: Sutton Images

Fernando had to catch a lift on Palmer's car, which became all the more comical after their in-race spat. Pic: Sutton Images

For some reason he was overly furious with Jolyon Palmer, repeatedly barking down the radio until he was told Palmer had retired. “Karma,” he quickly replied.

No Fernando, karma is leaving Ferrari just as they came good, to go for a massive payday at McLaren only for it to blow up in your face. Literally.

And so we are already done with the 2017 European F1 season. Next up in a couple of weeks it’s the Singapore Grand Prix, which on Saturday Niki Lauda said Mercedes had already lost. Honestly, have you not heard of spoiler alerts, Niki?

At least for once the weather forecast will be correct – hot, hot and hot!

HAVE YOUR SAY

CLIP OF THE WEEK

Fernando Alonso's fury with Jolyon Palmer became a major theme of the Italian Grand Prix. Here's the full edit of the McLaren man's fury.

WHO AM I?

- I made my F1 debut with Scuderia Italia in 1990, then joined Minardi

- In 1991 I contested a single race for Ferrari after they fired their star driver

- I returned to Minardi the following year and later raced for Footwork

- My best result was a shock podium from 22nd on the grid in Australia

- My final F1 spell was with Sauber, but a pair of injuries made it an unhappy campaign

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THE LAST WORD

Pic: Sutton Images

Pic: Sutton Images

Don't look back in anger, Fernando...

See you in Singapore!