Hello, DriveTribers, and a very happy Christmas. It’s that time of the year again of cheesy sweaters, and dull dads shouting, “Merry Christmas one and all”, in an overly smug manner. A time which gets less festive each year, and the Queen’s messages get more boring. But let’s not get bogged down by that because this time we’ll be taking a shufti at one of those cars that Giants can’t afford in their world. One of those cars that you’d put a poster of up in your bedroom, and start writing some fanfiction about it. It is the Ferrari 599 GTB…Ahem.
Once again, I was unable to overlook the absent door mirrors. And, thanks to globalisation, the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car. However, there’s a bigger elephant in the room; it’s the utterly hideous headlights. They are a paint copy of The Ghost of Christmas to Come’s eyes. There also seems to be a quite unnecessary, non-functioning filler flap. I’m also afraid that your weekly shopping will just be a jar of Miniature Marmite and a cup of Miniature noodles because the world has never seen a car boot more microscopic than this. It honestly won’t fit some types of ants.
But all that shouldn’t put you off because of the state of the art body. The car was gorgeously engineered to be pushed by wind…I guess. The wheels might get out of alignment sometimes, but they are breathtaking. Not only are the dials correctly positioned on the dashboard, but the designers have also thought of spicing them up a bit.
Unfortunately, I still didn’t fit this car as well with an electric engine because I need a helping hand from the Socrates of the socket set, but I did give the car a push and my mind was proven wrong. It turned out to be heavier than I expected. Having pushed it several times, I was able to come up with a conclusion. If it ever gets to move with the need of my finger, it’ll be like a stampede of underweight elephants. That stampede could be on the roof of a 20 storey building, and the vibrations…waves…impulses will still travel to your kidney when you’re on the 15th floor or possibly the 14th but not the 13th or 12th or anything less than that.
Sadly, I wasn’t attracted or attached to this car as much as I was to the others; it let me down more than any of the others have. Moving on, here’s this car in a nutshell: it’s luxury personified in the Giants’ world. Be that as it may, this Ferrari is as an utter fiasco. It’s as disappointing as your six year old son at football. Others regard it as one of the big cats that has just come out of hospital after breaking some ribs and a leg, fracturing an arm and dislocated a shoulder and a jaw and needs some rehabilitation. That sounds like Boris Johnson. And on that bombshell, it’s time to end this piece of writing. Buhbye.
I'll try that Boris Johnson one later.