Hello, Drivetribers, and a very happy Christmas. It's that time of the year again of tinsely walls and drunk dads shouting, "Merry Christmas one and all!" in a slightly annoying manner. It's also the time of me logging back in to my Drivetribe account to write this annual Hot Wheels die-cast model review. This year's Christmas car isn't actually bought this year. I should've written this thing months ago, but the procrastination went on to July, and by that time I just thought I'd wait for Christmas. It's a good thing I did that anyway cos the shops didn't have any Hot Wheels models when I was Christmas shopping last week. This year we'll be taking a shufti at, what James May once called, a Stormtrooper's helmet.
If you've been reading previous pieces of...this ting I do, you'd know that I always start by something that is never there. However, they've finally visited my tribe and fixed the problem...or so I like to think. The door mirrors are there! They exist! Something that almost doesn't exist in this model car, however, are the windows. They're smaller than some urethras. Another thing I couldn't ignore was, apart from the boring looking car, the boring bottom of it. It's just a slab of metal riveted to it. What in the name of all that's holy was the comedy genius Elon Musk thinking when he did that?! I've got to give them credit though for successfully managing to scratch what mildly resembles Tesla's T on the front of the Stormtrooper's helmet.
Remember the urethra windows? Well, they were compensated with a plastic roof so the passengers can comfortably roast inside. Thought I'd put that in the positives paragraph otherwise there wouldn't be much to write about. Oh! There's plenty of legroom and it doesn't only fit four or five, but seven miniature people. They've ditched the overly spacious boot in the real one for two seats in the Hot Wheels model. I have to say that, while they made a mess of the T on the front, they made quite an acceptable job of the back. Maybe it's because they also added the Hot Wheels logo to it as well.
In a small bladder, this is a very 'meh' model car. Looks boring and even feels boring. You give it a push on the ground and it doesn't make much noise. It's like a church mouse on steroids. With hindsight, I should've drawn one instead of that Mexican guy with a sombrero on a bike. And on that bombshell (there isn't really one this time)l, it's time to end this. Buhbye.
I'll try that whole excretory thing later.