Things BMWs Get Away With

Why do Beemers drive like pricks? The answer might surprise you .

Parking like an asshole.

Ok we all know this one, you’re looking for a spot in a crowed car park and just as your veering around the corner you see hope. This is your moment, this is what you’ve always dreamed of. You’re cautious though. Could be a motorcycle, a smart car perhaps. As you get closer you see nothing. It's impossible, this is the story you shall tell your grandchildren, you might pull a Costanza and not even leave for two weeks just for preservation of the spot. You start to turn in when…theres a fucking 535 parked a foot and fucking half over the line. How could they? This was your moment how dare they take it away from you? Your grandchildren are now deprived of this story. Your hopes rose to the sky and are now crumbling in free fall. There is a special place in Hell for this ingrate.

Give this a second glance, however, in Germany it is illegal to be handicapped, and therefore illegal to register a German car as a handicapped driver vehicle. So, in order, to avoid a ticket, disabled BMW owners are forced to take up more than one sport simply because society has neglected them. This is also why you might see Mercedes having similar parking practices.

Not using a turn signal.

This one is actually a common misconception. Yes Beemer drivers are known for not using turn signals as well just driving unnecessarily recklessly. They could make everyone’s lives a little easier if they just used a fucking turn signal like most everybody else, but no. Here’s the thing. As we all know every car has optional extras and packages. For example: a Porsche might cost you $80,000 but after the fancy brake calipers and Recaro seats you leave the dealer paying right around $500,000 (standard pricing for Porsche’s optional extras). So what everyone is ignorant of is that BMW don’t come standard with turn signals, they just don’t. These cars are actually fairly expensive and paying an extra few grand for blinking lights is just absurd which is why some prefer not to have them. We've all skipped a few details to save some cash, right?


This is a big one. Tailgating, as you know is following someone too close and I too wasn’t sure why this was a trend of BMWs. Upon further research I found that most BMWs actually have a series of small magnets located on the perimeter of the bumper in order to help with parking and safety. The charge is normally set to repel when it gets to close to a car, quite brilliant actually. The problem is purely a maintenance issue; BMWs are required to come in a have their magnet re-fused to the bumper every 3rd Monday of every 4th months or else the magnet reverses and is then attracted to cars, quite hazardous. This is a simple service and can be done quite easily but most owners avoid this because since it takes up 20 minutes of the service departments time it costs $1465.38. These are usually the people that opt out of the turn signals.

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