Top 10 Black Cars for a Friday Which Isn’t Sponsored by Amazon. Or Something
As Henry Ford once famously declared, car buyers could have his revolutionary new Model T in any colour you wished. Providing that colour was black. Or one of those sepia special editions.
And nearly a century later, nothing has changed when it comes to ticking the colour options box at your local dealership, as black remains the colour of choice for those looking to stand out from the crowd. Just as long as there’s a badge somewhere on the bodywork which indicates that it’s a ‘Black Edition’; to differentiate it from merely being a black coloured car of the same model. I mean, imagine having to explain that to your neighbours.
Yes. It’s Black Friday, folks.
So what better time to take a look at the very best black cars that have ever been manufactured down the years, aside from Uncle Henry’s finest.
Of course, you could sit staring at your laptop (or tablet) getting square eyes, by incessantly scrolling and refreshing page after page of ‘Black Friday’ deals for toasters, Segways, a Next sofa or whatever the fuck it is that marks you out as a person of discernment and taste.
Or alternatively you could casually browse screen images which put a massive smile on your face and don’t cost you a penny to enjoy (unlike certain adult subscription-only websites I’ve heard about). Unless that is you’re actually in the market for a new ‘Black Edition’ car as some sort of early Christmas present to yourself, in acknowledgement of you being a complete banker all year.
And like dogs, special models such as the Mercedes AMG C63 Black Edition are for life; not just Christmas and a few weeks thereafter. Like your new toaster, that Segway or a Next sofa which you’ll quickly grow bored of.
So, below I’ve compiled a pick 'n' mix of unique ‘black edition’ models tailored for every budget, taste and aspirational outlook; from the sublime to the ridiculous to a poverty-spec Fiesta. And placed them in an ascending order of what I believe to be general desirability factor, irrespective of hedge fund limitations. If you think I’ve missed any out, feel free to chirp up.
Otherwise sit back, pour yourself a glass of something red (Ribena, if you’re the sort of individual who can only afford the Fiesta) and don’t feel in any way obliged to panic buy any old piece of shit for a relative because the one day-only Amazon list price is giving you the horn.
10. Ford Fiesta ST-Line Black Edition
Chav it large! And disappointingly Fiesta-shaped.
9. Honda Civic Type-R Black Edition
Sneak in and out of Maccy D’s drive-thru’s undetected.
8. Lexus RC 300h F Sport Black Line
The one black vehicle in the golf club car park which ISN’T a hearse.
7. Nissan GT-R Black Edition
At least 50 Shades of Black. And 'look at me' darker black.
6. Porsche 911 Black Edition
The blackest of beauties, with many, MANY horsepowers.
5. Jaguar XF R-Sport Black Edition
Darker than a subtitled Scandinavian drama set near a lake.
4. KTM X-Bow Black Edition
For the car fan who has everything. Which will now extend to a roof and back seats.
3. Aston Martin DB9 Carbon Black Edition
Hugh Grant probably owns one. What more can I say….
2. Mercedes-Benz AMG C63 Black Edition
It’s what Batman would drive if he was a broker from Redhill in Surrey, and not Bruce Wayne on his days off.
1. Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Black Series
OK. Who didn’t receive the memo about this being a black tie and tux affair?