Top 10 Cars in World Which Only Comprise 2 Letters in Name, Yet ridiculously lon

2y ago


1. Fiat 500C Abarth Esseessessesseeesssesseeeeseeeesssseeeeesseeessesee

2. – 10. Absolutely, categorically NOTHING ELSE, EVER.

I’d just like to point out (for legal purposes) that I don’t have a problem with either the letter ‘E’ or ‘S’ per se, before I go any further. In fact, I’d say that both letters feature surprisingly high up my list of favourite letters in the history of the alphabet. And let’s not forget, by placing the two letters – which are traditionally separated by 13 other different letters – in very close proximity to one another (and that of the equally comely letter ‘X’), they form a rather pleasant word which instantly conveys positive connotations. However, should letters/words such as – ‘O’, lena Gomez, molina pudding, th Rogan, wage outlet pipe and/or Rover 214 i - be introduced to the conundrum, then vernacular things can quickly turn very dark.

That said, Italian automotive bods, Fiat has challenged the accepted order of SE abominations by adding its own slant on wordy things in the otherwise pleasing way, shape and form of its uber spicy 500 supermini. You se(e), not consotent with adopting the letter ‘C’ in direct association with the 500 Abarth (formerly the Strada TC/Uno Turbo/Cinquecento/Seicento) for those of you old enough to recall a blackberry being a fruit and nothing else), Fiat’s wordsmiths went and ruined all their previous good work in this area by then welding an additional ‘E’ and ‘S’ onto the business end of Abarth-y things. And then another two. And another two. And se on and se forth; in esseesseesseesseence creating something of an unexpected anomaly. And quite how they managed to find the room on the diminutive car’s rear end to bolt on all those surplus to requirement ‘E’s’ and ‘S’s’ I’ll never know.

Unless you’re a fat-lipped celebrity cook whose obsessed with Turkey Twizzlers

Anon, November 2016

While a host of Chinese car manufacturers might hold unofficial records for consisting of mindlessly long and elaborate (not to mention, freakishly) named models, we have to look a lot closer to home for production cars which harbour equally lengthy and polysyllabic monikers, yet at the same time only utilise a handful of letters to make their fiddly point; which are then effectively repeated x10. Indeed, the Italians seem to have cornered the market when it comes christening vehicles with names that – although not necessarily sliding off the tongue (unless you’re a fat-lipped celebrity cook whose obsessed with Turkey Twizzlers) – do appear to have been constructed from just the single consonant and vowel. And then reiterated over and over again. Pronounced as though you’ve got an unfortunate stutter, the speech impediment-exposing Fiat 500 Abarth Esseessessesseeesssesseeeeseeeesssseeeeesseeessesee is a mouthful in whatever native tongue you routinely converse in, and to my mind should never have been esseesseesspoused during Fiat creatives’ initial brain-storming seesseesseessions. But it was, the name stuck and today it’s officially recognised as the number one Car in the World Which Only Comprise of Two Letters in Its Name, Yet Conversely is Ridiculously and Needlessly Long.

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