Top 10 slowest cars of the 1980s
We might have had supercars on our walls, but some family cars still took over 30sec to hit 60mph. Here are the worst offenders
These days if a car's not doing single figures to 60mph, it's not trying hard enough. But rewind 30 years and there were plenty of cars on sale that couldn't land you a speeding ticket if you tried.
We're focusing here on stuff available in Europe, specifically the UK. The rest of the world might well have had some even bigger velocity villains, but we don't have the data to back it up. Do you? Let us know in the comments.
1. Citroen 2CV (31.7sec 0-60mph, 68mph max)
Is it fair to single out a car that was actually designed before the Second World War? Of course it is, when it’s so slow it’s almost a danger to public health.
What about Bond’s getaway car in For Your Eyes Only, you say? That was a cheat by the stunt team and featured a flat-four from the bigger GS.
2. Fiat 126 (42.1sec 0-60mph, 64mph)
Successor to the original Cinquecento, the 126 followed the same template but upgraded the spec with a synchro transmission and squared-off shell.
From 1987 the 126 BIS strutted around with a mighty 26bhp, but early ‘80s cars had to make do with 3bhp less – and acceleration that could get you arrested for kerb crawling.
3. Renault 4 GTL (21.7sec 0-60mph, 71mph)
Like the previous two, this relic of a bygone age took an age to get anywhere.
Launched in 1961 and upgraded for the 1980s with a bigger 1.1 engine (in some markets), the GTL still took almost 26sec to reach 60mph. Mustn’t grumble though: in countries stuck with the older 845cc motor it took over 38…
4. Suzuki Alto FX auto (22.5sec 0-60mph, 75mph)
These days launch control and lightning shift speeds means autos are often even quicker than the manual alternative, but in the past we expect to take a hit in off-the-line go in exchange for delegating shifting duties.
But a 7sec hit? When Autocar tested a manual Suzuki Alto in 1981 it reached 60mph in a then-respectable 15.8sec (look, it was a long time ago). Two years later with the same engine backed up by an auto ‘box, it took 6.7sec longer.
5. Suzuki SJ410 (29sec 0-60mph, 80mph)
Another entrant for Suzuki, this time for the pocket Jeep whose tendency to tip landed it the nickname SJ-fall-over.
And if crashing off a mountain didn’t kill you, there was every chance you’d die of old age before you got to your destination.
6. Dacia Duster (28.5sec 0-60mph, 68.5mph)
Today Dacia is Renault’s no-frills brand that wraps older Renault tech in workmanlike, style-free shells. You get loads of car for your cash and models like the Duster are great in their own right.
But back in the 1980s Dacia wasn’t merely behind the iron curtain, it looked like it had used it for bodywork as well. And if it had, that might explain why the original Duster's get-up-and-go was so utterly abysmal.
You know you're dealing with seriously bad performance when they quote the top speed to one decimal place.
7. Daihatsu Domino (26.6sec 0-60mph, 72mph)
Look at the specs for the Domino and it’s no surprise it could be outsprinted by an asthmatic snail. The engine was a tiny 547cc two-banger putting out just 30hp.
Still, the fact that it’s output per litre was actually better than most four-cylinder superminis' must have been little consolation when you were trying to join a motorway in a car that could barely reach the legal limit.
8. Ford Granada 2.1 diesel (27.2sec 0-60mph, 88mph)
In the early ‘80s diesel was for taxis and people so tight they composted their own faeces rather than shell out for plant food.
And no wonder, when the best a massive, supposedly executive car like Ford’s Granada could do was 64hp and 90lb ft of torque. And this one was an improvement over the early 1.9. Just imagine...
9. Fiat Panda 750L (20.6sec, 79mph)
A Renault 4 for the 1980s, Fiat’s simple slab-sided Panda was never going to be a strong performer.
But at least the 1000cc version could get out of its own way. The cheaper 769cc version didn’t just ape the functionality of older cars like the R4 and 2CV, it seemed to be channelling their torpidity, too.
10. Toyota Landcruiser (26sec 0-60mph, 90mph)
We’re picking on the Landcruiser here, but in fact almost all old-school off-roaders, at least in Europe, were absolute dogs.
Many, like the Toyota, didn’t have turbos, with the result that this whale made just 102hp from a 4.0-litre straight six diesel.
Tags: #new-era #modern-classics #citroen #fiat #ford #granada #2cv #panda #suzuki #dacia #slow #fast #performance #0-60
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Comments (27)
Number 6 is "ARO 10", car that used to be powered by a Dacia ( Renault ) 1.4 litre petrol engine
Furthermore, it proved to be one hell of a 'light' off-roader and one of the first SUV's in the world.
Wildely sought and wanted, almost a status symbol back in the comunist Romania.
1984 VW Vanagon westfalia. 0-60. maybe
I think what's missing here is the Trabant 601 from the GDR. It took 60 seconds to get from 0 to 60, and that was his top speed!
The Granada shown is a "2.8 Injection" , had one in the 80`s , wasnt a flying machine but it didnt half go sideways !
I can confirm that because my dad gave me a Ford Granada 2.0 gl and i'm truly in love with him. True, it's not the most fast car but the sound of is V6 compensates all of the seconds. 👌❤
Early 1.5 diesel starlets. In fact later ones too... Tested my 1991 model and got a solid 21 seconds. With the back seats out and almost no fuel in it. Also took a dump beforehand... Top speed? Well I had it up to 87 mph once. NOT RECOMMENDED IT WILL TRY AND KILL YOU