Top 15 worst car names
How did the marketing team let these through the net?!
There is a huge amount of time, effort and resource that is put into producing a car. The major brands pump multi-millions of pounds into design, production and marketing. The production can take years from the concept to the first car rolling out of the factory.
So it really boggles my mind that after all that, they can give the car a shit name, and ruin all of their work.
There are a considerable amount of crap car names across the world, but this list has a special place in my heart having grown up with these models.
Here are the top 15 worst car names where the marketing manager should really have been fired by now.
15. Nissan Sunny
The Nissan team had good intentions with the light-hearted jovial name 'Sunny,' but giving this name to the most mundane car known to man was a bit ambitious. Maybe the 'Nissan Cloudy' or the 'Nissan Overcast' would be more relevant.
14. Lotus Excel
The Lotus Excel is by no means a bad car, but the name is crap. If you are looking to buy a supercar like the Lotus, you don't want to have your car named a mild performance description. Microsoft didn't help things by naming their spreadsheet system after it.
13. Ford Ka
How many board meetings did it take for Ford to finalise on the name 'Ka.' How lazy do you have to be to basically name it the Ford Car. Someone got paid for this, with actual money.
12. Mitsubishi Carisma
Similar to the Nissan Sunny, this wouldn't be the worst name in the world if the car showed any signs of charisma. Unfortunately, it shows the same amount of charisma as Simon from accounts, who has 9 cats and does live action role play on his Sundays.
11. Ford Cougar/Kuga
Not only did Ford name their car after a middle-aged woman who goes after younger men, but they did it twice. That's a damn good effort from Ford, but their best is yet to come in this list...
10. Skoda Superb
If we could all write our own reviews, life would be easy. Skoda thought along these lines when naming their large saloon the 'Superb.' I can't wait for their upcoming supercar the 'Skoda Fucking Amazing.'
9. Kia Pride
If you have spent a lot of time and poured your heart and soul into a car, then calling it the 'Pride' is a wonderful thing. However, most of you will notice that the car above was designed with no heart. There is nothing, not one small aspect of this car to take pride in. Sorry Kia.
8. Daihatsu Charade
There are a variety of reasons calling your car the 'Charade' is a shit idea. Firstly, a few synonyms for charade are: farce, pantomime, travesty, mockery, parody, act, masquerade, sham and fake. However, this isn't as bad as being linked to the board game we are all forced to play whilst bloated and slightly tipsy at Christmas, 'Charades'. This usually is played with a farting Grandma and drunk uncle, both of which are more pleasant than the Daihatsu Charade.
7. Vauxhall/Opel Adam
I really hope this is the start of a new range including the Vauxhall Steve and the Vauxhall Frank.
6. Honda Jazz
When you think of Jazz, you think of cool Soho bars with people sitting around clicking their fingers. They're usually sipping on their whiskey under a layer of cigar smoke. The Honda Jazz is more closely linked to a questionable 'jazzy' shirt you bravely wear on casual Friday.
5. VW Sharan
I'm not sure if this will be a universal feeling, but whenever I hear the name VW Sharan, I immediately think of a middle-aged lady who has 'seen a few things.' The name Sharon is the kind of name that is no longer given to babies, like Steve, Ian or Keith. I can't wait for the VW Debra.
4. Ford Escort
Ford's second appearance on the list is a cracker. I'm sure that there were perfectly innocent thoughts behind this name. They were probably thinking, oh the Ford Escort, as in escorting an elderly lady across the road, or ooh I'll escort you to dinner darling. However, it has resulted in the Ford Prostitute. Luckily there was no STi or STD model.
3. Suzuki Esteem
Also known as the Suzuki Low Self-esteem.
2. Daihatsu Applause
This one must be a joke, right? The Applause? The only applause this car will be getting is when the last one dies. I would have preferred the Daihatsu Slow-clap.
1. Ford Probe
At number one it had to be the Probe. Ford have featured heavily on this list but this one takes the biscuit. Naming your new sports car after something that is shoved up your rectum is just superb. What names were turned down? Ford Enema? Ford Cavity Search?
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Comments (128)
The Opel Adam is named after the Opel founder Adam Opel. Nothing wrong there - or you should have included the Ferrari Enzo and made fun of that name too?
The Opel/ Vauxhall Adam is named Adam because of the founder of Opel. Whose name used to be Adam Opel. So if the Opel is not allowed to be called Adam then the Ferrari Enzo is not allowed to be called that. Or the Bugatti Chiron is not allowed to be called Chiron. Get your facts straight.
It doesn't make it any less of a poor choice for a car. If my name was Enzo i would call every piece of work i ever did, including children and pets Enzo, it is bloody brilliant. Adam - well that's just dull regardless of the facts
Actually, Skoda Superb was the largest limousine in Skoda model range before second world war. That actually means, Superb is a good name for the largest model in Skoda range today. Oh, and there is something worse than Opel/Vauxhall Adam - Opel Karl (Vauxhall Viva in the UK). Why, why would Opel give their small 5-door hatchback the same name as German accountant with creepy mustache.
Let's not forget the Vauxhall Nova. Spanish for doesn't go.
What about Toyota MR2. MR2 in french meanes shit.
Because in French it’s pronounced M-R—Deux sounds like merde (shit) in French..... But Toyota realised this and marketed it as the MR-S in France......