Unpopular carpinion: The Nissan Juke is not the worst crossover or recent Nissan

Richard Hammond hates me but I do have method in my madness

I'm sure all of us here at DriveTribe hate the Nissan Juke. If you do like it then please get off of DriveTribe and never return as you are just wrong.

Now as to why the Nissan Juke isn't quite as bad as Richard Hammond makes out. Lets be honest they are ugly, slow, boring, overpriced and are for soccer moms. However there is a worse car that is a crossover and a worse car that is also a recent Nissan.

Funnily enough they are the same car.

Behold this abomination

The Nissan Kumquat. The Juke-multiplied. Alright I hear you saying it is really a Qashqai but who really cares? So why do I believe this is worse than the Juke? Read on to find out.

At least 'Juke' is recognisable in the English dialect

What were they thinking when naming this thing? That it sounded exotic? It doesn't and the car certainly isn't exotic in any way. It is just unpronounceable tosh. Bleeding Kumquat.

Its a bigger Juke

The Qashqai starts at £23,550 which is £6,155 more than a Juke. Its also bigger so its easier to see. Who wants that from a Nissan crossover?!

Sure but at least it isn't as bad to look at

Not much of a compliment. Its a bit like standing two murderers side-by-side and saying that because one person only murdered 8 people compared to 11 for the other person so they are seen as acceptable. Both of them should be put in the electric chair instantly and I want to see the same with the cars.

The Kumquat is also bigger so you are more likely to see it in the first place.

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Comments (30)

  • The Juke isn't ugly. The Tesla Model Y is a pure piece of disgusting garbage.

      1 month ago
    • Yeah

        1 month ago
    • At least it looks better than a Juke, it’s only one big lump compared to a bunch of smaller lumps lumped together.

        1 month ago
  • The Juke is pretty ugly. The Qasqai isn’t to bad. I mean yes, it’s not attractive but at least it’s not overly pretentious and trying to be something it isn’t like the Juke Nismo for example. The New Qasqai is rather bland now, so I agree with you to some point. It isn’t as bad as the Ford Kuga which looks like a slightly peculiar Aston Martin DBX copy.

      1 month ago
    • I think that the qashqui (Rouge Sport) is a good SUV and the new juke looks better than the older generation

        1 month ago
  • The Quashqai isn't that bad. The Juke is definitely worse. It's like comparing a pig to a blobfish.

      1 month ago
  • I actually like the new juke

      1 month ago
  • I'd argue that the kicks is the jukes replacement. I feel bad for Nissan here, they tried something new and unusual, but it just didn't work.

      1 month ago