Urus pretender is actually a Toyota all dressed up
The answer to the family man's mid-life crisis
Reserve whatever place you want in the proverbial for those who tart up their cars, but somehow, this one looks fantastic.
It starts out in life as a Toyota Harrier, which you'll have never heard of. Firstly, because its only export market is among the Americans who don't know about the rest of the world let alone the eastern marsh harrier of Hokkaido and so call it the Venza. And secondly, it's from a company that already makes the CH-R, the RAV4, the Kluger, the Fortuner, and the Landcruiser. Yet another one just fades into the thick, grey fog that hangs about in the SUV room of your mind palace.
It's a hybrid and shares its platform with the Lexus RX. That's really all there to say about it.
Tokumeigakarinoaoshima - CC BY-SA 4.0
But now the Harrier has been transformed into one of the most memorable SUVs of all time. And unlike other attempts we've seen over the past few months, you don't have to squint nearly as much.
The Japanese tuning company, Albermo, have taken the blank canvas and painted a Lamborghini Urus. I'm also seeing some shades of Jaguar F-Pace about its bottom.
Crucially, there's a new front bumper. It's also lower, and has bigger wheels, beefier wheel arches, centrally-mounted dual-exhaust pipes, and a diffuser and little wing on the back. Not to mention the lively colour options, including this rather fetching snot green.
Albermo has cut its teeth doing exactly the same thing to the RAV4 and another little SUV called either the Toyota Raize or the Daihatsu Rocky (depending on what front bumper design you happened to prefer at the time). I'm not quite sure how or why, but they also offer a Ferrari-Portofino-inspired body-kit for the Prius.
We won't mention one person's utterly failed attempt at a Urus with their Honda Crosstour, but this sort of thing could be the answer to a growing problem.
Nowadays, as we know, couples are starting families when they're knocking on the door of 40 years old. For the man, this means that at the precise moment the mid-life crisis hits, he finds himself burdened down with nappy bags, soggy rusk sticks, a dismal family mover, and not a lot of disposable income to splurge on things like hair implants and a Mazda MX-5. But he could at least get a kick from this.
So if this is you, import a Harrier. Come next month, you'll be able to add this body kit to it for around $4,000 US. You'll be happy, the rest of your family will be happy, and arguably for the first time, so will the rest of us who have to look at it.