What car would Santa drive?

I haven't heard Last Christmas on a radio this year yet, but it's December already, many shopping centres have took their festive decorations out of the storage and, in my region at least, there is a bit of snow here and there. So, it's a good time to start preparations for Christmas celebrations!

Let's face it - Santa's reindeer-powered sleigh is quite old-fashioned. What is more, it's hard to get one if you want to start your own Rent-a-Santa business (a good way to make some money at this time of the year, professionals get paid up to 150-300$ per hour). As you can see, there is a good reason to find a new Santamobile. So, let's dive into the necessary qualities of his modernized ride and showcase a few cars that fit the bill perfectly.

This won't be enough for a Santamobile, we can do much better, trust me!

This won't be enough for a Santamobile, we can do much better, trust me!

First and foremost: space

Santa's car (or yours if you decide to become a Santa Claus for hire) needs to be spacious. Even though popular gifts like phones, laptops etc. are quite small, large quantities of them can take up quite a lot of volume. What is more, larger gifts are still a thing, so we need a lot of cargo space, no questions asked. As a result, many small cars and sports cars are out of contention.

However, there is an additional requirement about the space - it has to be enclosed. Even though Santa's sleigh have no roof, this can't be a thing any more. Too many gifts nowadays involve a lot of smart and precise electronic circuitry, which doesn't go well with water in any form. You wouldn't want your long-awaited PS5 to come soaking wet and broken, would you? What is more, in Europe gifts would simply be stolen from an open cargo area. Thus, pickup trucks won't do as well.

We will need a car with a lot of cargo area - probably much more than this Trabant can offer

We will need a car with a lot of cargo area - probably much more than this Trabant can offer

Secondly: speed, but with some off-roading capabilities

Christmas is in December, which is in winter season (at least for those living in Northern Hemisphere). Thus, reliably getting to various places can prove to be quite tricky, unless you have a car with an AWD. It will improve safety in slippery conditions and it is going to be useful for going off-road (to get to this one kid that lives in a forest).

However, we can't go for an ultimate off-roader, like Suzuki Jimny or Jeep Wrangler. Santa would spend majority of the time on highways, travelling quickly between houses he has to visit. Thus, we need a car that feels comfortable at high speeds, which will have a good ride and will be relatively quiet. Therefore, we need a bit of power and a relatively low centre of gravity to prevent the Santamobile from feeling unsafe and unstable.

We basically need a road-legal estate wagon rally car. Sadly, those are hard to come by, so we will have to make do with what we have

We basically need a road-legal estate wagon rally car. Sadly, those are hard to come by, so we will have to make do with what we have

Thirdly: Santamobile has to be recognizable, but can't be scary

Seeing Santa pull up at your driveway should be an exciting moment, not a intimidating one. As a result, we can't have any SUVs. In my opinion, they are probably the most terrifying vehicles on the road (I've written a whole article about my hatred for them). When I'm on a pedestrian crossing, I've grown to expect that they likely won't let me through. What is more, they have quite high centre of gravity, so they aren't the best highway cruisers out there. Thus, SUVs are a no for me.

For similar reasons, you shouldn't buy yourself a van if you want to become a Santa Claus for hire. They seem like an obvious choice, they are among the most spacious vehicles out there, they often come with an AWD and they can be quite powerful as well. However, do the red paintwork badly and you will look horribly suspicious - like a creep from a "Free Candy" van. You may also want to distinguish yourself from an average deliveryman. Therefore, vans won't do the trick either.

Sorry, no SUVs. There are rules which cannot be broken

Sorry, no SUVs. There are rules which cannot be broken

Lastly: reliability & costs

This one might not be as important for a real Santa, but for you, an aspiring entrepreneur, it can make or break the deal. Even though the real Santa can probably magic up any necessary parts, both you and him can probably do without unplanned stops. Your tight schedule (you will be overbooked if you follow my business plan, trust me) won't allow for any car mishaps. Even though majority of breakdowns can be avoided with preventative maintenance, some cars are just prone to fail. I will try not to recommend those, but some propositions are just too tempting.

Last, but not least: running costs. They are important if you're just starting, as you might want to minimize the amount of money you will spend on your car. This can include lower purchase price, reducing fuel consumption and spending less on parts. Once again, this is an important criterion, but I will make some exceptions.

We need to avoid breakdowns as much as we can - there is no time for them

We need to avoid breakdowns as much as we can - there is no time for them

What are we left with?

With all of that in mind, we've narrowed the range of possible vehicles to just one category - AWD estate wagons, preferably from the 1990s and 2000s. Cars from this era are way more subtle than modern vehicles, they have a great aftermarket support and many people have positive associations with them, as they were very popular among fathers. Let's see what we can buy.

Budget friendly option: Skoda Octavia I 1.8T 4x4 or similar

Based on a 4th generation of VW Golf, Skoda Octavia is an amazing vehicle if you need a cheap and reliable transportation. It has an enormous boot (over 500 litres in a compact car!), looks humble and offers an amazing bang for your buck. I want to draw your attention to the 1.8T 4x4 model, which has an AWD and an astonishing petrol engine that can be easily and reliably tuned to close to 300WHP. You can find this powertrain in many models, just pick the one that fits the bill for you. Here are some offers I found: Skoda for 2500$ and a slightly larger Audi A4 with the 1.8T engine and an AWD for 2000$. Spray-paint them red and you have a perfect budget Santamobile.

Skoda Octavia - not a looker, but it gets the job done

Skoda Octavia - not a looker, but it gets the job done

Off-roading option: Subaru Legacy/Outback/Levorg

Subaru is a renowned manufacturer of AWD vehicles. Thus, if you want something a little bit more expensive, but with way more off-road capabilities, why not to buy a Legacy or an Outback. There are multiple generations to choose from, each with some amazing engine options. For example, 3rd generation model had a Blitzen version with twin-turbocharged, 2.0-litre engine and 280HP. 4th generation was available with 2.5-litre turbocharged powertrain that had about 250HP. Combine that with a Japanese reliability and an AWD and you get a great wagon that can go almost everywhere. What more could you ask for?

3rd generation Subaru Legacy - I honestly love its styling, I even thought about buying one for myself

3rd generation Subaru Legacy - I honestly love its styling, I even thought about buying one for myself

My personal favourite: Audi RS6 C5

Audi has a very long tradition of putting AWD into their road cars. C5 RS6 is no different, with a Torsen AWD, trustworthy V8 with two turbochargers and a heck of a punch. I prefer it to more modern RS6s, as it seems much more reliable than its successor, the C6 (the one with a V10) and it is much more subtle about its performance.

However, it can be costly to buy and run (I found one in Poland for about 16 thousand USD), but let's face it - it was made with cruising on Autobahns at 150mph in mind and, if it's maintained properly, it will do this job perfectly. If that's too much, you can always go for an Audi S6. It doesn't have the turbochargers, but it still features the amazing 4.2-litre V8 and costs half as much as the RS6.

For your money you will get a very capable car that will be a true joy to drive and will leave many of wannabe racers in Honda Civics and BMWs speechless. If you want to try it out in virtual world, I've made a tune for it in Forza Horizon 4 (for A-Class Rallying). Nicknamed Raudi, it's probably the most entertaining vehicle I've ever driven in this game (here's a sharing code if you want to check it out: 140 077 593).

Meet Raudi - a race car in disguise, with an optional M Sport paintwork and a spray-painted bonnet for a few extra horses

Meet Raudi - a race car in disguise, with an optional M Sport paintwork and a spray-painted bonnet for a few extra horses

Ultimate Santamobile: Ferrari FF

I know, it doesn't tick all of the boxes. But it doesn't have to. It's a Ferrari that is somewhat practical. It has an AWD. It has a surprisingly spacious boot. It has a V12 with a truly intoxicating soundtrack. If Santa had to use cars, this is the one he would probably go for. If you become a Rent-a-Santa baron, you might want to consider buying one as a glamorous vehicle that only the most loyal customers can order. It often comes in red from a factory, which is an added bonus!

That's all I've prepared for you. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the article! If you did, you can leave a like and read my other posts. Till next time and Merry Christmas!