What does owning a Jaguar (or any other brand) say about you?

What does your car say about you? From ‘etiquette experts’ to proper psychologists, and even Jeremy Clarkson, many many people have tried to work out what your car says about you.

What are the characteristics of Jaguar, Audi, BMW car owners - and all the rest?

Apparently “sociological research has revealed that the population at large does draw conclusions about the personality of car owners from their vehicles” says Dr Raj Persaud* (Telegraph, 2003). It took professional research to work that out. Yes, really. He also says that, for men, size is everything. Think so, girls? Well, it is an old article. Anyway the following are some of my thoughts on the subject, with a few other opinions thrown in.

Jaguar

I really did come across a fabulous E-Type (in custardy primrose yellow) on the seafront at Dartmouth and the owner really was looking for his wallet.

DriveTribe

Barbara Lindsay posted in I Love A Jaaaaag | DriveTribe

There we were idling along and this glorious E-Type pulls up. Couldn't resist a chat with the owner, who really was looking for his wallet..

It's not just a cliché then? Remember what Jeremy Clarkson said about Jaguar owners - it must be true!

Jaguar seems to be reaching two main driving types. For me it varies between the classic Jaguar owner cliché which is not so much "a man without a wallet" although it does happen, as older, genteel folks, who are genuinely quite sweet. Usually they belong to a club – bowls, Enthusiasts, Brooklands, that sort of thing, and are hanging on to their Jag until they can’t drive any more. They also stop you in the car park to admire your Jag and get all misty eyed about when they used to have one.

At the other end of the spectrum it’s a car for young aspirational peeps, and I mean the more vintage cars, not the modern ones. They’re a luxury brand, with lots of trimmings thrown in for free, which second hand can be bought for a snip. Fancy an XK-R 4.2 Supercharged V8 for under £15k? No problem. It is already classed as a classic and going off the forecourts pretty fast. Grab one while you can.

The company car market and the real sports enthusiasts go for the XF and the F-Type. Yummys and families go for the F-Pace. The greens will be latching onto the I-Pace. The XE is right in the middle of the young/family/business market. You know all this and I digress … on to the other cars.

Other cars – yes other cars are available.

Alfa – a proper driver’s car (my own words). I admit I'd definitely consider one next time, unless I hang onto my Jag until I can't drive any more ...

Audi – used just to be middle class but now, thanks to the TT, is “driven by incredibly bad boorish drivers” according to one newspaper columnist, but I’m not convinced. Middle class yes, but most likely a driven by a savvy, intelligent, but rather overweight businessman (as I was driven in an 8 series by one and it was a fabulous drive despite the fact that we were going to a funeral!). But sadly I find they mainly just get in the way quite a lot, and are guaranteed to cut in front of you in traffic on the A303 after overtaking everyone else in the queue. Trust me. Maybe 'boorish' does fit after all.

BMW – Although many years ago the 3 Series was quite the proper drivers car (I certainly enjoyed it) if you were in your 20s or 30s, but I think BMW is no longer the young person’s car. Or am I wrong?

Mercedes – I find it is definitely an older person’s car but some say it's becoming cooler. Jeremy Clarkson likes them so not sure that’s ever going to happen.

Not cool. Or youthful.

Not cool. Or youthful.

Saab – Owned by retired architects, and airline pilots. End of. (It’s true!). Cool? Yes.

Mini Cooper – driven by young wealthy women apparently. Could be. Definitely driven by middle class types who send their kids to private school and have their own aromatherapy business. Trust me on this. They are, however, very hardworking in order to maintain the lifestyle. I’d better stop there. Lukewarm rather than cool.**

Aston Martin – supposedly they are trying too hard. Not sure what at really means. Beautiful cars obviously, given the designer, but I find them a bit boring to be honest, so it isn’t working. Nope – Astons are boring and I suspect so are their owners. Bring it on …

Proof that Astons are boring.

Proof that Astons are boring.

Bentley – Ostentatious and way too bling when new, like their owners. Anyone with style has a vintage one. Think Brian Johnson.

Ostentatious? I think so.

Ostentatious? I think so.

Volvo – everyone and I mean everyone agrees this is a geography teacher’s car. And let that be an end on it.

Landover/RangeRover – some say “sloanes” own them (does anyone still use that phrase, thought that died out in the 90s), plus footballers and yummy mummies. Chelsea tractors they may be but they’ve spread into suburbia, and even the country, and anyone but anyone owns them. Goodness me, what next! Just. Too. Big. And way too many of them. Go away. Please.

Skoda Yeti? Definitely a declutterer’s car. Sweet personality, kind, generous, reliable and friendly. You can trust me on that too. Surprisingly cool.

Jensen Interceptor - Classic 60s/70s and gorgeous. My neighbour, a BA Airline pilot, owned one. He did well. He wasn't boring.

The Jensen Interceptor. Definitely not boring. Neither are their drivers.

The Jensen Interceptor. Definitely not boring. Neither are their drivers.

​*It should be noted that, at the time of writing, the psychologist quoted above was driving a 5.3-litre Jaguar XJS V12 coupe. Nuff said?

** I miss the Cool Wall.

Please feel free to add your own thoughts on car marques and their drivers below.