Why do people buy SUVs? Well, most people would tell you that they bought an SUV because it's safer and more practical than anything else on the road.
But see, that doesn't make much sense because while an SUV might be more expensive, it doesn't have a single redeemable quality that I can think of. They're noisier, stupider, and more expensive than any of their sedan counterparts.
But yet, 70% of the cars sold in America are SUVs, because, for some reason, soccer moms and hip hop artists all over the world have decided that they need a terrible car. But here's the thing, manufacturers don't seem to give a damn that they have now been depleted to making nothing more than SUVs.
And it's not just brands like BMW and Toyota that have taken the plunge, just about every automaker on the face of the earth has decided that they need to make an SUV.
Aston Martin, Bentley, Lamborghini, and even Ferrari have all decided that they need to sell trumped-up mommy-mobiles to every single rapper and soccer mom in and around Los Angeles.
But at the same time, consumers demand the "best of both worlds," with minivan practicality, and sports-car performance, which doesn't exactly work, because an SUV has always been inherently flawed right from the start.
Cars like the Mercedes GLC 63, are a prime example of all this. To make the car look sporty, Mercedes have had to slope to roofline, and now there's no headroom or truck space, and to make it at least somewhat competent off-road, the GLC has been fitted with stilts instead of suspension.
But if what you want is a fast, safe, practical family car, why don't you just get a station wagon?
Because unlike a top-heavy SUV, a station wagon is basically an elongated sedan with a bigger trunk, and while I'm seemingly missing the chromosome, which makes me hate station wagons, I think that America should convert.
And it's not like we haven't been here before. In the 1960s, America was full of big, gas-guzzling cars that served no real purpose. So what did we do?
We bought station wagons!
By the millions, and it all made sense. They were the ultimate family vehicle, and in places like Europe, the station wagon lives on. Much like with SUVs, there are performance versions, with big V8s, and tons of power, heck, BMW used to make an M5 wagon.
So dear America, stop buying SUVs, and buy a Volvo, because that's the sensible thing to do.