Why I sort of hate BMW.

Between the German big three (BMW Mercedes-Benz and Audi), I have always had a soft spot for the Bavarian made BMW. I like their subtle looks, well-engineered chassis’ and awesome power from their engines. There is a small problem however. BMW’s greatest creations aren’t making production. They release massive photo galleries of these gorgeous cars and then tell you they are not putting it into production. It's a lot like that cute girl that flirts with you all night long and then she tells you her boyfriend is here to pick her up. I mean for fuck sake follow through with the task at hand.

These great cars are all re-imaginings of old cars built by BMW a long time ago. They call them Hommage Concepts meaning; blast from the past. If this was Ferrari or Lamborghini, they would make a handful and sell them for an astronomical amount of money and the cars will be shown off in their full glory (like the guy at the Goodwood FOS with the Centenario). But not BMW. Ze Germans are doing this as a technical exercise to show what “they can do”.

The reason why I am so “passionate” about this situation is simple; I love all these cars and they were truly fantastic. That being said, surely BMW can recreate that magic with these new versions. They look the part and have the correct style of engines to try and maintain the legacy of the predecessor. The three chaps from The Grand Tour also mentioned this in an episode or two I believe so you have seen a couple of these following examples.

1. 328 Hommage (2011).

This an awesome looking little car. Beautiful from all angles. It was built as tribute to the original 328 back in 1936 for a 75 year anniversary. It is weights 1720lbs / 780kg which means it should handle like a go kart. Unfortunately it seems it has a straight 6 engine which doesn’t fit the style of the car in my opinion. If I could consult BMW, I would persuade them to put the 1.5l three cylinder turbo from the i8 in it. A car that light with 164kW/220hp and 300Nm/221lb.ft will be fast and sporty. It would be big competition for the Alfa 4C if they made it.

2. Mille Miglia Concept (2006).

A car where old soulful curves meet new sharp edges in perfect harmony. It isn’t right to use the word car to describe it. It is one fine automobile. It also has for a fact one of the coolest rear lights ever. It seems to be powered by the S54 3.2l inline 6 from the E46 M3 which produces 252kW/338hp at 7900 RPM and 365Nm/269lb.ft of torque at 4900 RPM. The sound of the S54 through the new, shorter exhaust exiting on the right side should be equally astounding as the looks. It would have been the prettiest car at that time hands down if they built it.

3. 2002 Hommage (2016).

Designed fifty years after the 02 series (1966) beemers, it is a tribute to the original 2002 Turbo launched in 1973. (BMW’s first production turbo car)It is based on the all-round great M2 which is a brilliant car to start with. So all they really have to do is turn the power up from the M2 (372hp) to the M3 Competition Pack level (444hp) or even the standard M3 (425hp) and make the special new 2002 body, make some changes to the interior and put on the new wheels. How hard can that be? It is a bit sharp and edgy especially considering the round look of the old one but these are modern times and it does look epic. Come on BMW.

4. 3.0 CSL Batmobile Hommage (2016).

It is not hard to see what it is, is it? It looks exactly like a modern reincarnation of the old CSL we’ve been waiting for. If I had to guess it probably started out as a M4 and then they put the same roll cage and chassis modification in place as the GTS (which is rubbish and a bonus reason why I hate BMW). It should make about 500hp just to be fair to the name and gorgeous looks. Not as sharp and edgy as the 2002 Hommage and I love it. It has a big wang like the old one for downforce and showing off you big wang. Absolutely excellent work by the people who will never get credit for it since it’s not being built. Phenomenal job.

5. M1 Hommage (2008).

Last and definitely not the least is the M1. BMW created it as a 30 year anniversary present to themselves. I am a huge fan of the original M1 all though it did not do good sales wise and financially. It was a great idea, to build the first budget supercar (long before the Honda NSX). The race version (M1 ProCar) was immensely fast and pretty while spitting flames and winning races. It makes me a bit depressed that current BMW’s mid-engined sports car is an underpowered hybrid. I don’t have any idea what engine this concept has. I do think BMW avoided this due to maybe the badluck of the original. If I had to consult with BMW I would do two versions; 1. An entry level M1 with the M2 engine 372hp manual only and 2. A hardcore street legal version of their new endurance race the ProCar named ProCarR (extra R meaning Road) with the M3/M4 competition pack 444hp, a dual-clutch gearbox, body kit with a big rear spoiler, carbon ceramic brakes as standard and all the other upgrades and good stuff. Mercedes-Benz and Audi don’t have competitors for this car. It would me a money train this time.