Why i'll be driving on my next holiday

I've had enough of public transport

2y ago
596

I recently returned from a holiday to Slovenia and Italy, and I’ve very quickly decided that next time I’ll be driving. I am done with public transport, I simply cannot stand how complicated life is without a car., I have no idea how I managed for 18 years.

Firstly there’s the business of getting to the airport. You have always end up having 2 hours sleep because you have to wake up at 3am to be there 3 hours early. Then you have a 1900 hour wait for some gormless berk to tell you that your bags are too heavy and then give you a piece of paper that allows you to board the plane.

Then you have to go through security where you are forced empty out all of your belongings from your bag, throw away all your liquids in case you decide to smother the pilot death in Colgate. Then have a nonce touch your genitalia and caress your nipples.

After you’ve been through all of that you have to another wait another eternity before embarking on an eleventy million milk walk to gate 400 where you then wait in a que longer than the que at McDonald’s on a Friday night for some lifeless carcass to check your boarding pass and passport just after going through the tightest security measures in the world where you need your passport and boarding pass at every stage.

Then you get on a bus packed with other people where you catch their diseases. Then up 200 steps to the plane. Where you get less leg room then in the back of an original mini and have to listen to the same safety briefing that you’ve already heard one hundred and twenty thirteen times.

After hearing a baby scream and cry for however long your flight is you then have to get your passport checked AGAIN for some reason by someone who couldn’t give less of a shit about checking your passport if they tried. After passing the most casual passport control you then have to wait a never racking half an hour while you wait to see if your bags have been left in Gatwick or broken into.

With any luck you’ll be out the airport with your bag that hasn’t been broken into, where your nicotine starvation can end, and you can begin your journey to your method of transport from the airport to the accommodation. This will either be a hire car, in which case you will have to wait 18 hours for the twonk at the desk to find you a car and charge you Lamborghini money for a gutless and rubbish 1.0L Hyundai i10.

You could get a taxi, but that will cost you £300 to go 8 miles and have a taxi driver who gets you lost and spends half the journey on his phone (as mine did). The final alternative is that you take public transport. Which is awful, and as I discovered in Slovenia, very rude.

You walk 18 miles in the wrong direction to the nearest bus stop then wait 4 hours for a bus only for a rude Slovenian bloke to insult you. I have taken public transport in many places however I have never more rude bus drivers then in Slovenia. Almost every bus we took had an angry driver that decided to shout at us for some reason or another. ‘We didn’t have the right change’ ‘we hadn’t bought tickets’ that, by the way you can buy on the bus) ‘because we were kids’

These are just a few of the reasons why I will be driving on my next holiday. It’ll be a lot less stress then going through all of the above again. Now I can see why people holiday in the UK

Join In

Comments (0)

    0