Why the elderly are going to love the electric revolution
If you can't wait for cars to fall into silence, it may be a sign that you're old! Here's why...
For those who have pledged allegiance to the Gods of petroleum, the electric revolution is a source of great dread. It is a transition that will signify the extermination of everything that’s formed the basis of automotive passion for decades, and the start of a silent, soulless future. Dread it as I do however, there is one particular demographic that the electric revolution can’t come soon enough for.
Even more so than environmentalists and battery manufacturers, it’s the elderly who are going to find the most solace from the coming of the electric revolution. Not because it’ll deny them the potential to accidentally wash their windscreen in petrol; not because the electric car will help older drivers lose the “clutch riders” nickname; but because they’ll simply find the silence enables them to enjoy Antiques Roadshow more peacefully without the risk of revving interruption.
This fact dawned on me a couple of weeks ago upon visiting my grandparents. Their house sits on the main flightpath from the local Lamborghini dealership. With a 4-way main junction with traffic lights sitting nearby, drivers of all cars tend to see this as an invitation to launch their cars like they’re at Santa Pod - something which is especially true of the countless Lamborghinis that come thundering passed.
As I was sat talking to my grandparents and a couple of aunts and uncles who were present, the violent growl of an Aventador’s V12 filled the room. Imbuing me to inhale sharply in delight, a smile began to grow on my face - just as the balloon of pleasure was burst with the pin of everybody else’s reality.
“They ought to ban those bloody things!” said my Nan, shaking her head disapprovingly. In conjunction with causing my chin to descend in shock, this statement resulted in everybody else in the room confirming their agreement with her.
“Bloody scum, people who like that racket!” exclaimed my one uncle. This tone of conversation continued, with people ricocheting between varying insults directed at the cars themselves and the people who like them. Despite my best efforts at defending the supercar’s honour, it fell on ears hostile towards opinions that aren’t theirs. The elderly, aye? Can’t beat ‘em. What a shame.
This made me realise my original point. When the world’s cars surrender to silence, the elderly - which will probably be the millennial generation - won’t have to worry about their house being filled with the sound of horsepower. They’ll be able to play Grand Theft Auto XV, watch Justin Bieber’s 70th birthday concert on their virtual reality contact lens, and not once will 3 seconds of their day be ruined by someone who dares to have fun.
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