- The Posters for Top Gear and The Grand Tour side-by-side

Why The Grand Tour Just Isn't as Good as Old Top Gear

My take on why I think that The Grand Tour isn't as funny as old Top Gear

30w ago

What makes the Grand tour worse than top gear?

The 25th of March 2016 was one of the worst days of my life. It was the day that I heard that Jeremy had slapped another man, and as a result, Top Gear would be ending. I held my head under a tap for half an hour, drinking myself to death- until I realized that not all was lost. Jeremy wasn’t dead and neither were the other two, so surely I would still be able to watch them in the future. My hopes became true when the Grand Tour was announced on the 18th of November 2016. Finally I was going to be able to enjoy the great pleasures of watching three grown 8 year olds travel the world in their crap cars. And yet, when I tuned in to watch the first season, I was, like many others, disappointed. Something about the show seemed worse. It wasn’t the same anymore. I have spent the past 4 years of my life pondering what could possibly be wrong with the new show. The sound track isn’t as good, The budget is way too big, and Amazon gives the trio too much freedom.

The sound track on Top Gear was just way better. Just go back to any old Top Gear episode and you’ll find your ears being bathed in classic songs from all different eras. From punk rock, to heavy metal, to classical, and country; Top Gear always picked the perfect song for the moment. One can see the difference in music quality illustrated in the intro songs. Top Gear stole their theme song from the Allman Brothers band, one of the first successful southern rock bands. The Allman Brothers Band wrote songs about rambling men who rambled all over the country and did drugs like cocaine. The song they lifted the Top Gear intro from is called “Jessica” and hails from a time when songs were long- 7 minutes long. Yet somehow has absolutely no lyrics what so ever. Without knowing the title, one could easily think the song was called “Bob!” In comparison, the Grand Tours intro song was written by a random guy called Paul Leonard-Morgan. Paul is known for writing - well nothing. I don’t think anyone knows who Paul Leonard-Morgan is, but a quick google search will bring up his very short wikipedia page. On this page, you will find that he learned to play the recorder, piano, and violin as a child. Possibly the three most boring instruments in the world. What qualifies him to write the theme song to the planet's favourite TV show! The BBC own the rights to virtually every song on the planet, whereas Amazon owns Paul Leonard-Morgan. I know which one I prefer.

Amazon is way too nice to the trio! Top gear was run by the BBC, and one of the requirements for working at the BBC is that you must have a long and jagged stick up your ass. However, this made for some very funny Moments on top gear. With Amazon, they are far more understanding of the trios shenanigans. While some TV personalities may thrive under this amount of freedom, it seems that Jeremy, James, and Richard thrive under stricter circumstances. Many of our favourite episodes would hail from a disagreement between the trio and producers. These disagreements eventually birthed the golden envelope challenges that were always our favourite episodes. Hatchbacks, British sports cars, caravans, and amphibious cars were all as a result of BBCs Piers Morgan, Health and Safety agenda. Like how a strict teacher can bring out the mischievousness of a school boy, the BBC just made Top Gear Hilarious.

The trio have been given way too much money to play with. In the first episode, the intro scene looked like it cost about as much as a whole season of Top Gear. The trio drove in a convoy followed by millions of dollars of cars to a stadium in the desert. They’re back! According to the telegraph, the Grand Tour spends 7 million dollars on each episode. That's a far cry from the 1.5 million dollar budget of Top Gear! The three members always found a hilarious way to overcome the challenges posed by this budget. It would force them to stay in the worse hotels, resulting in them modifying their cars to have sleeping quarters. We can see that James is still handy on a low budget in “James May, Our Man in Japan”. I personally loved this series and just how james may it is. He can make wallpaper interesting. We can also see that Jeremy has still got it on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,” where he lost multiple contestants a million dollars! Whilst we haven’t seen much of Hammond outside of the Grand Tour, I am sure we will see him making a cheap show sometime soon. When the trio are challenged budget wise, they always have their funniest moments.

I am just one fool on the internet, and I have less greatness in my whole body than any of the three have in just one of their pubes, but I think my views are generally shared. The Grand Tour just isn’t as good as Top Gear was. Top Gear got 27 series’, the Grand Tour got only four. The lack of a good soundtrack, Amazon just being too nice, and a way too big budget has strangled the great show that we once knew. Just look at the difference in the posters for Top Gear and The Grand tour. In the Top Gear one Hammond is wearing a poo stained vest and has no trouser legs, Jeremy is soaking wet and in a tie, and James is wearing his usual T shirt and Jeans. In comparison, their Grand Tour counterparts look like billionaires. That says it all! I look forward to seeing everything the trio touch over the next 20 years. They have played a huge role in my life and my childhood and it’s been sad watching them grow old. But god I miss old Top Gear

Ps: I wrote this upon the recommendation of James May who said that anyone who wants to become a motoring journalist should give it a shot on Drive Tribe, so here I am. Naturally I then set about attacking his show.

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