Over the past year (ish), there've been a lot of cars that have come onto the market. Some have been good, and some bad. This article lists my top ten worst cars of the year.
As you all know, I strongly dislike the Prius. It's a view shared by many petrolheads, so I imagine most of you will probably agree with me. I dislike how the exterior looks like a deformed fish, and how the inside feels and looks chintzy, as if it was designed over a five minute coffee break. I don't like how the headlamps look like a teenage girl's rushed makeup job at 5am. In addition, i dislike the people who buy these monstrosities. They're the sort of people who can be seen doing 50 in the slow lane on the motorway; obstructing the flow of traffic and causing everyone to swerve angrily around them, thus causing more unsafe situations and possibly even accidents. So, overall, this is more of an abomination than it is a car.
Earlier on this year, I did a review of the 2019 Fit, and concluded that it was rather bad in every single way imaginable. The trunk was so small that Richard Hammond wouldn't even be able to fit into it, and the acceleration was pretty much non-existent. Furthermore, I had told you that as I drove along testing it, there was this awful banging noise coming from the back due to the license plate frame not fitting properly. I also informed you of the dreary exterior styling, and the even more dismal interior, which was mostly made from circa 1983 materials such as pleblon. So, there we have it. Another car not worth wasting money on.
Honda Civic Type R
I've never actually expressed my disdain for this car on DT, but I am now, so get ready.
This is the sort of car that's bought by people such as James May who seem to have a thing for ugly cars that make you look like a prat. This is the sort of car that's bought by millions of people who've got, excuse my political incorrectness, ASBO. This is a car then, that's bought by people in the hopes of impressing their neighbors. But of course they won't impress their neighbors, because their neighbors aren't prats who drive Type R's and lay awake at night dreaming of having a girlfriend one day. Furthermore, it's not the prettiest looking car in the world. For starters, it's got a huge wing on the back that, if I'm honest, is purely aesthetic. It does no actual aerodynamic trickery. It's just there for the wow factor. And that's the issue with this car. It's a bit all-mouth-and-no-trousers. It'll turn heads, but when faced up against a 5.0 liter Mustang at a set of traffic lights, it'll get whipped.
Now, at this point you're probably thinking that I've gone mental for having three Hondas in a row on this list, but I promise you it wasn't purposeful. And, no, I haven't got some sort of bias against Honda either. So, now that we've got the possible ambiguity sorted out, let's get on with the car. There are a few different reasons for my dislike, chief among which is the styling. I'll put it plainly. It looks exactly the same as a Pilot. And why would a car company want to make two identical three-row family SUVs, that have the same engine and produce the same amount of horsepower, when they could just make the one? I'm afraid it's the same story with the interior. In both the Pilot and the Passport, the interiors are the same drab combination of blacks and grays infused with quite a lot of plastic and pleblon. So what's the bloody point? Again, why make two identical cars when you can just make one?
When Subaru put this car on the market, I thought, "Oh good, another option for the mother and father of three who're looking for a relatively cheap, reliable, spacious three-row SUV". I thought the Ascent looked good, outside and in, and would also be a fairly viable car for the occasional off-roading day. It's equipped with AWD, so it'd easily be able to handle a bit of mud and shrubbery. Or would it? About a week and a half ago, my neighbor, who's got an Ascent, got stuck in his yard. The car had been parked for an few hours on some relatively soft ground, and when he tried to drive out, he just dug himself into a hole, until he eventually bottomed out. So, what Subaru has done here is pulled the wool over our eyes. They've made an AWD drive car and marketed it as a good off-roader, but in reality, it's pretty useless at the non-tarmac bits. So what they've basically done is lied to seven billion people.
When I first saw this car, I thought it looked quite like a cancerous growth. And I still do. With its dreary little slim rectangular grille, and the general upward slope of the body, it was never designed to be a recipe for success. Furthermore, the interior is as dismal as a nursing home. It's so full of plastic that even a landfill hasn't got that much plastic in it. This is the sort of car that makes you wonder what the people at Chevrolet were thinking when they said, "Yes, let's make a hideous, depressing little crossover for people who still live with their parents". And yet it's worked. Thousands of people have bought them. I suppose it just goes to show how many forty-somethings there are still living with mom and dad.
This is the sort of car that tells people two things: number one- you don't like cars and you only own a car to get from a to b. And number two- your life hasn't worked out quite as well as you'd hoped. This is the sort of car for people who've been divorced multiple times and have a few grandchildren to schlep around. It's a dreary little crossover that's got hideous styling and a depressed little grille. Almost as depressed as the grille on the Mini Countryman. So, that's another one gone to pot then.
What we have here is the exact same situation as the Honda Passport and Pilot. The Escape is the exact same car as the EcoSport. Yes, it's a bit bigger and a bit more expensive, but it's got the exact same engine. And there's virtually no difference in the exterior and interior styling. The Escape has still got the depressed Mini Countryman grille, same as the EcoSport. It's still bought by people who need to schlep their grandkids around, same as the EcoSport. So, I raise the question yet again. Why make two when you can just make one?
Yes, it's another crossover. No, I'm not doing it on purpose. Yes, I'm not a big fan of crossovers, but I swear I'm not doing it on purpose.
The first thing wrong with this car is the styling. It's not bad, but it could be better. Which, in a luxury car like this, it should be. The styling of a luxury car should make you feel special. And the styling of the GLA doesn't make me feel special enough. It just makes me feel like any old crossover driver. It's the same story with the interior. There's this screen in the middle of the dash, but it's the size of a postage stamp, so it's pretty much useless. As for the rest of the interior, it's the same story as with the exterior. It's not bad, but it doesn't make me feel special, which in a car like this, it should. So, what Mercedes has done is had a really great idea, but botched the actual car. Pity.
Based on the original 1960s Beetle, this new version isn't much better than the old one. It's just as ugly, just as rotund, and just as hopeless looking. For starters, the headlamps look as if they had no thought put into them at all. As does the entire car. It's as if VW were a bit rushed, and said, "Right, people want a modern version of the original car, so let's flare the wheel arches a bit more and make it a bit bigger". Well, I'm sorry VW, but that won't cut the mustard. Because what people actually want is a new version of the old car, but that still has the charm of the old car. And this new one just doesn't. This one feels a little too brute-ish, a little too German. It hasn't got the pizazz and charm of the one from yesteryear. It feels too formulaic, too cookie-cutter, from-a-box, already pre-made, just microwave it for sixty seconds. Pity, this. VW could've made a really nice homage to the original, but instead they've made a monster.
So, these are my top ten worst cars of 2019. If you liked this article, please like and comment. And if you didn't like this post, please still feel free to comment. Thanks!