You can only choose ONE!

Nice dilemmas to have, which would YOU choose?

Sadly, or fortunately, depending on your perspective - I've not actually had any car related escapades lately. The only real thing to report is that driving the 911 is business as usual. It's a great drive and seemingly a very rare car. Either hardly anyone owns one, or 99% of the owners don't take it to themselves to drive their daughter to the girls' school every morning, then potter off to work, possibly calling at the supermarket on the way. I can understand why many people choose NOT to, but honestly? Those people are missing out.

So, in the absence of having any amusing stories of how I nearly Hammonded off on a country lane or ended up having to beat a horse-rider to death with their own shoes, I thought I'd do something a bit random and a bit fun. Here's how the game works. I present you with a bunch of scenarios, then you pick which one YOU would choose. Then afterwards, we can see which options are most popular. Sound interesting?

#1 Hypercar Hypothetical

Here's the scenario, you entered a Comic Relief competition where you had to guess the weight of a jar of James May's toenail clippings. You were only 2 milligrams off the actual weight, so you WON! Now you have to choose your prize.

Option1: You can drive two laps of the Nurburgring in a Bugatti Chiron. You drive to the track, do the laps, then hand the keys back.

Option 2: You get to drive a Porsche 918 Spyder at the track of your choice from dawn until dusk, with the ghost of Sabine Schmitz haunting alongside you and giving you instruction.

Option 3: You're handed the keys to a Ferrari 458 Pista to drive where you want and how you want for a MONTH. At the end of the month you hand it back as in the other scenarios.

Option 4: You get a Lotus Evora 400 GT, not for an hour, a day or a month, even a year! It's yours until you decide to sell it.

#2 Greta's Gift

The dungarees and sandals brigade are holding an international convention for the tree-hugging fraternity. Due to an administrative error, namely Greta getting you mixed up with some Extinction Rebellion extremist who once handcuffed himself to a Policeman's bicycle, bringing London to a standstill... Greta has awarded YOU, the coveted, environmentalist of the year award. The prize is a dinner date with Greta which you have to cycle to, and you can only eat vegan, but on the plus side it includes YOUR choice of one of four eco cars offered up by participating manufacturers. Here's what's on offer, which would you choose?

#3 Willman's Winner

While mocking Richard Hammond's flat-cap fetish on an online forum, your eye-wateringly amusing wit has been spotted by Andy Willman he's awarded you the 'Grand Tour' humorous comment of the year prize. As well as a pair of signed 'Jeremy Clarkson' socks, you've been offered the chance to film with the presenters, ONCE. Sadly, after the incident in Scotland involving the brothel, the sheep and the wetsuit - they're not currently on speaking terms. So you'll have to choose. Here's the deal, choose Clarkson and he'll take you on a tour of his farm and teach you everything he knows about ploughing and churning butter. Then IF there's any time left he'll take you for a spin in his combine harvester (It's brand new, but he won't give you the key).

Choose Hammond and he'll entertain you at his castle, spending an hour with you while you help him edge closer to completing his motorcycle restoration project. Then he'll take you for a spin in his helicopter, while promising NOT to crash and reassuring you that there's not much to crash into 'up there'.

Choose May, and he'll invite you to his newly purchased pub. You'll work behind the bar alongside May for a shift, then when everyone's gone home you'll have an hour to sit and listen to him complaining about the other two in a humorous way. while sipping craft ale.

As it happens Paddy McGuiness has been rushed to hospital after accidentally zipping up his foreskin - leaving Top Gear short of a presenter. Willman has his contacts, so as a bonus option - he can arrange for you to fill in for Paddy and film ONE episode of Top Gear with Chris and that cricketer bloke.

#4 Holiday Home with unlimited track time

It turns out that blisteringly quick lap of Hockenheim you did after snorting two lines of coke on Forza Motorsport, playing Xbox Live - is actually THE fastest lap ever recorded and nobody can quite understand how you pulled it off. Even the devs are baffled as they didn't think a lap THAT fast was physically possible. Red Bull have recognized your achievement and want to reward you. The prize is an incredible luxury 4 bedroom holiday home within 5 minutes drive of a famous racetrack. The accommodations are all identical and all include a 24/7 unlimited pass for the local track, allowing you unfettered access. Even allowing you drive around it after everyone else has gone home. All you have to do is choose the track!


Well, that's it I think,. Hope you had fun!

Let me know in the comments if you have any great ideas for these sort of dilemmas - I might use your idea next time!

Martyn Stanley

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