"Your car is really Ni-- ... Oh you're already gone"

2y ago

1.6K

When I read that I had been chosen to lead the tiniest tribe in the world, I had been on my way home. After getting off the train - yeah, very unmotorist-y of me, I know - and got into my car - that's better - I racked my brain about future absurd problems that needed solving.

Just as I noticed that my knees would never touch the steering wheel I saw a BMW i8 coming the other way. I adore this car for various reasons, one that it uses environmental technology to keep the sports car alive, and another is the bite-the-back-of-your-hand beautiful design. Before I could communicate my love for it ... gone. It was already in my rear view mirror, having driven past me and disappearing in this big wide world.

For the rest of the day I wondered how I could tell the motorist that I really liked this car. How I could communicate that a pretty design, the lovely noise, or maybe a cheery little car with a Go-Faster Stripe brightened up my day by driving past?

Go-Faster stripes make the world a better place

Me, constantly

I could simply flash the lights. In theory this would work brilliantly, but at the same time it does not work. Mostly because flashing the lights has far too many functions nowadays: It's intended for telling other drivers to turn off their full beam. It could mean that there is impending disaster ahead and they're going to end up dead unless they work out what it is. Teenagers playing pranks. Of course, it's the unofficial code for warning other motorists about speed cameras. By the time the driver has worked out that it might have something to do with the coolness of their car they're already at the other end of the country.

What other options are left? An obvious is the horn. But ignoring that it's illegal unless there is impending disaster, you are never sure who sounds the horn or if you are the one at whom the horn is sounded. Since you do everything as usual, you'll simply assume that it wasn't meant for you. Furthermore, the poor granny who is working in the garden had a heart-attack now.

The next day I sat down in my car with a big sad face. It was a hot day and I decided to open the window.

"Aha!" I thought, it's possible to give people thumbs up! This works on Facebook. It works with real people as well. Why shouldn't this work when a pretty Jaguar comes the other way? In the spirit of keeping my tribe true and scientific I decided to test it.

"Nice wheels, Jag man!"

Easier said than done: the first car wasn't a car. It was a lorry. The second was ugly. The next was a VW. Then, finally, a Jaguar XE came my way, and I thought I could give it a try.

However, the man must have been too busy wondering why he had a funny moustache because he didn't even look. Damn it, becoming desperate I decided to test it on the next car. No matter what brand, type, or number of wheels. It turned out to be a Dacia. So the driver was (understandably) confused.

Hope almost lost I waited at the traffic lights when an Audi RS5 pulled up beside me. It looks like any other Audi from the front but quite lovely in black and from the back. So I assumed that, unlike Dacia Lady, Audi Boy would like his car. I waiting until eye-contact was established and lifted my thumb. In return Audi Boy smiled, and nodded.

Unless, I unknowingly agreed to something dodgy, it works brilliantly!

[Cat.: #Solutions ]

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Comments (1)
  • I think this happens to all motor enthusiasts. Nice cars seems to just pop out in the wild whenever we are feeling blue about life. Great read!

    2 years ago

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